Bittersweet Fate
by Thacmis
Summary: Thor and Loki were not the best of friends. But after a certain incident, they find their threads of fate beginning to entwine in ways they had never imagined. Thor/Loki stuff
1. Prologue: Loki

_**Loki: 17 years old. Thor: 18 years old. (in godly years, of course)**_

**Loki**

They never got along. No; he didn't want to get along. They were simply too different to form an acquaintance. Furthermore, the lack of relationship was not an impediment or any sort of crack in his rather peaceful life; in fact, he was quite content he did not know Thor as well as is normally expected of siblings. He had a feeling that, were his quiet, academic ways to contact and mingle with Thor's careless and flippant lifestyle, his lifespan, if he had one, would be severely shortened.

He never had many friends, but he was fine with it. No friends amounts to no responsibilities or obligations to anyone except oneself. Thor, however, was incredibly popular with various Asgardian folks. Loki would see Thor _fooling_ around with his childhood friends Hogun, Volstagg and Fandral and not understand their happiness of being acquainted.

Moreover, he half-resented Thor for gaining their father's attention so damn easily. Thor was everything he was not, better at everything he was, and in those subjects that Loki was good at and Thor was not, it did not matter because those subjects were trivial in the world of Asgard.

They were like complete strangers. Neither made any measurable difference in the other's life.

But he had his books, which he could dive into and lose himself in fields of blossoming words and worlds, into series of glorious adventures that he could and probably would never experience in reality. The vicarious enjoyment of reading was much better than living real life, because in a book, one can live the lives of many people, feel their happinesses as if they were one's own and experience pain without really receiving wounds or injuries. It was where he was truly happy.

Or so he thought.

Little did he know that the strings of fate were beginning to intertwine his with Thor's and that soon, he will never be able to look at Thor in the same way ever again.


	2. Prologue: Thor

_**Loki: 17 years old. Thor: 18 years old. (in godly years, of course)**_

**Thor**

Loki was a strange one. A brother that wasn't really a brother. Several times in the past Thor had tried to form a relationship, but each time Loki brushed it off like dust on his shoulders, so Thor stopped trying. But Thor didn't feel hurt or any loss of happiness; he did feel confused at the rejection, but in the company of his numerous friends he soon forgot his desire to befriend Loki.

To him, now, his younger brother was simply another presence in the palace, a presence that didn't really make a difference. He didn't think this in a condescending way; it was just a fact. Loki rarely talked to anyone besides their mother and the servants. He was always in the shadows, quietly observing or milling around in his own world.

Thor was more than perfectly happy with the friends and the environment he had now, and couldn't care less if Loki was part of it or not.

Or so he thought.

Little did he know that the strings of fate were beginning to intertwine his with Loki's and that soon, he will never be able to look at Loki in the same way ever again.


	3. Ch 1: The Vase Is Caught

**Loki**

The murmur of a conversation buzzed in the dining hall. Loki was in the adjacent room, studying, and at first paid no attention to the sound. The sound, however, grew louder and louder, until it became a ruckus, and Loki, irritated as he was, had no choice but to check up on what new chaos his immature older brother was stirring up.

Not that he would do anything about it. Their relationship was far too lacking for him to be of any influence to Thor. Thor would not listen.

As he stepped into the entrance, Loki witnessed with exasperation Thor and his usual gang consisting of Fandral, Volstagg, Hogun playing and bullying their father's precious vases. It was an invented game that, Loki concluded after a few seconds of observation, involved kicking them around and keeping them off the floor as long as possible. It was dangerous, not to mention completely insane. Loki had only faced their father's wrath twice, and it left him…well, temporarily immobile, to say the least. And Thor had been there when he was punished.

Loki really believed there was something seriously wrong with his head.

"Oh, look, Thor! Loki has come to join us!" Volstagg, the burliest of the group and perhaps a rival of Thor's in terms of simple-mindedness, called out. They continued kicking the vases around, however. "Will you enter our game?"

"No," replied Loki brusquely, "I have no desire to test father's wrath, as should all of you as well."

"Why are you always so cold to us, Loki?" came a female voice somewhere distant in the room. Loki saw Sif and Sigyn, two Asgardian women who were quite close in Thor's circle of friends, sitting in the far corner of the dining hall merrily observing the boys making fools of themselves. It was Sigyn who had spoken.

"Oh, don't mind him," said Sif, "He's always been like this."

Loki looked at them coldly. He disliked women who could not differentiate between fun, right and wrong.

There was nothing he could, or would, do here. Let Thor break a vase. Let them get into trouble. Served them right, and Loki rather relished the prospect of seeing them suffer for their deeds. Loki turned to go.

"Wait, brother," called Thor.

Loki stopped and turned just a little towards him, wondering irritably what the matter was. He wanted to return to his studies.

Thor, while kicking his vase up and down, moved towards his younger brother. "Will you really not join us? You need a break sometime. You can't just lock yourself up like a hermit all the ti-"

And he trips.

Loki could not believe that out of all the predictions he made, the worst of them had to come true.

Time seemed to stand still as Thor fell to the ground, reaching out to the vase that flew just inches out of his reach. Loki stood right next to him when it occurred, and wondered what to do. He could catch both the vase and Thor, but he did not want to. He was rather repulsed from doing so. Let him fall and get punished. What did he care? But there was a crowd of five people - all supporters of Thor's - watching this happen who would certainly report Loki's lack of help to their father if Loki failed to do what was expected.

Loki sighed. Maybe he will just catch the vase.

So he stepped towards Thor and caught the vase. He was, however, not quick enough to step out of the way and they both fell tumbling to the ground, with Thor on top.

"Unk," groaned Loki. He anxiously felt for the vase, and sighed in relief. Fortunately, Loki had held the vase above his head during the fall, so it was not broken. The relief, however, was quickly engulfed by pain as Thor's weight - how could anyone weigh so much - squeezed his own body a little flatter than it already was.

"Thor…"

"Erg…" He shifted a little. As he did so, Thor's shoulder length hair brushed Loki's face, and it irritated him.

"Get off."

Thor pushed himself off, and looked up - straight into Loki's eyes - and did not look away. Loki looked back, annoyed and bewildered at Thor's behaviour, but his irritation was soon replaced by complete surprise and befuddlement as the expression on his older brother's face became one that he had never seen before. It was nothing he could quite describe; it was something that sat between perplexity, wonder, excitement…and longing? And his deep-set eyes seemed to by studying Loki's face…

"Thor. Get off." Thor was beginning to seriously disturb him.

For a second longer, Thor seemed hypnotized as he held Loki's gaze. Then, as his younger brother's voice finally reached his brain, he blinked, shook his head as if he were confused at what had just happened, and stood up.

Loki groaned, feeling dizzy as a flood of blood suddenly rushed into his torso. He tried sitting up, but the pain in his abdomen was an impediment. Surrendering to the pain, Loki just sat and waited for it to pass.

Not for long, however. Right then, Thor reached out to him, and held out his hand, as if to help. Loki stared; Thor never looked at him, much less help him. Had the fall addled his brain? The room seemed hold its breath and the five onlookers appeared as bewildered as Loki was.

Thor continued to offer Loki his hand.

He sighed. Part of him, his pride, wanted to refuse, to let Thor know he was not needed. Another part of him, however, was curious and more than a little flattered, and as far as emotions go, positive ones always triumphed over the negative. So Loki took it. As if he weighed a feather, the young god of thunder pulled him to his feet.

"What's this, Thor? You've never shown…kindness…to your younger brother before," asked Sif from across the room. She had a teasing tone.

For some reason, Thor's ego was ruffled a little. "I don't. I simply did it because he was too weak to do it himself. Well," he chuckled casually, "when hasn't he been?"

Everyone in the room except of Loki burst into an unkind laughter.

Loki felt his blood rise to his face in anger. He should have known better than to have assumed that his irritating older brother did anything in the name of help towards him. He had done it out of pity, and now, because Loki accepted his help, Thor was ridiculing him in front of everyone. How hateful.

Without lingering for another second, Loki stormed out of the dining hall.

* * *

><p><strong>Thor<strong>

Thor had never faced his father's wrath before.

Therefore, partly due to his adolescent thirst to seek the forbidden and the dangerous, he gathered his usual group of friends, went to the dining hall and began to play kick-the-ball with his father's most precious vases. His friends were at first cautious, but after some joking around on his part, they caught his lust for fun and began to make a ruckus.

He wasn't surprised when Loki stalked in the hall with a frown. He knew how sensitive his brother was to noises and chaos, so Thor hardly blinked an eye when Loki insinuated that they should stop.

Thor glanced at Loki. Stick-thin, not quite short but not tall either and pale-faced, with a posture so rigid one might think his figure was carved from wood, Loki was the epitome of an uptight scholar. Thor sighed inwardly. He should really relax and break some rules. It would really do him good.

"Wait, brother," called Thor, as he saw Loki turn to leave. "Will you really not join us? You need a break sometime. You can't just lock yourself up like a hermit all the ti-"

His boot conveniently scraped the floor - he had miscalculated in his steps - and before he knew it, he was falling, with his father's precious vase just out of reach as it went to meet the ground.

Oh, no. He wasn't going to make it. Now his wish to face his father's wrath was going to come true, to his utter dismay.

Suddenly, before meeting the ground, there was a flash of green fabric, and he tumbled onto a soft yet bony cushion-like object. The abrupt alternation of his balance left him slightly disoriented and for a moment his head was a blank as he laid there.

"Thor…" The soft tenor voice of Loki's brought him out of his state of dumbness. Thor moved a little to show that he was still alive.

"Get off."

Oh. He had fallen on top of Loki, and apparently on his chest, for when Loki spoke, there were vibrations where Thor's head lay. Thor then realized his weight must be a burden to his little brother, and moved to get up, raising his head - to look straight into a pair of startling emerald eyes.

Thor had never gone close to Loki, either mentally or physically. Yes, he had tried to many times before, but always, Loki pushed him away, and now, for the first time in his life he saw Loki up close, and was wholly, utterly, undeniably surprised and mesmerized by what he beheld. Here was skin so pale and smooth they rivaled that of the most beautiful of women. Here was a nose so delicately sloped and fragile he was afraid it would break under the slightest touch. Here were lips of such a sweet, soft pink they looked carved from the petals of a rosa canina flower. Those features evoked within Thor a fiery protectiveness. And here were eyes so clear, large and of a shade of green so crystalline they seemed to open into a whole new world.

He didn't remember how long he sat there staring, forgetting his surroundings, until those eyes began to widen and those pale pink lips parted to speak the words, "Thor. Get off."

Realization hit him like a dull hammer in the head, and Thor scrambled to get up and away from the boy whose feminine features hypnotized him a few moments ago. He hoped his friends didn't notice what had just happened to him; he felt incredibly embarrassed for how he had just perceived his younger brother, who was now sitting up and grimacing as if in pain.

Without really thinking, Thor offered a hand to help him. He felt oddly regretful of Loki's pain, and was about to apologize, but realizing that he had never shown his younger brother any sort of attention before, let alone help, he bit his tongue.

Loki stared at him with those mesmerizing eyes as if bewildered. Thor didn't feel any different himself. Then, to his surprise, Loki accepted his hand. Thor was surprised to feel, as he pulled the boy up, how unnaturally light he was. Almost like a feather.

"What's this, Thor? You've never shown…kindness…to your younger brother before." Sif's voice echoed across the room with the lilt of a mocking, harassing tone. For some reason, that particular tone, used in this situation, drove a needle into Thor's pride, and Thor suspected himself afraid that he might lose the "strong, unromantic man" reputation he had built as his image. Of course, he would never admit it.

"I don't. I simply did it because he was too weak to do it himself." Thor felt his mean side take over as it tried to cover up his insulted ego. He couldn't stop himself. "Well, when hasn't he been?"

The room laughed, and he did too, to try to appear normal. But he didn't really feel his laughter; Loki had given him a painful look of utter disgust and that glare drove a wedge into his heart. Thor wished he could've stopped Loki from storming out of the room and apologized to him, but in front of all of his best friends, Thor hadn't the courage.


	4. Ch 2: Thor Must Be Mad

**Loki**

Before, Thor's reputation was at an average level in Loki's eyes. Now, it had dipped severely below sub-average.

The incident of being ridiculed two days before still had not left his mind, try as he might to forget it. Grudge was not the only part of it; everything that happened around it was cruelly, sometimes comically, baffling. Why had Thor looked at him so strangely? Why had Thor offered him a hand, only to deride him for it? As much as Loki scorned him, the Thor he knew did not stoop to such levels.

Loki groaned as he realized that he had, for the umpteenth time in two days, drifted away from the book he was reading and into his own world trying to make sense of it all.

He leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes. Oh well. Thor may irritate him virtually, but it was a relief and pleasure to know that the stupid idiot would never physically intrude upon Loki's peaceful, wonderful sanctuary, where he had the whole world to himself. Then -

The door flings open, and - Loki cannot believe this, but -

In.

Walks.

Thor.

It took every drop of strength to keep from exploding. By the time Loki believed himself to be in control, he was so tired he doubted that he could stand.

"Loki...er…" Thor looked unsure of himself. "I knew I would find you here, because this is where you always come, as far as what the maids have told me. Erm…"

"_What_ are you doing here?" Loki did not care how rude he sounded.

"I…er…do you think you can come to sword practice with me?"

Loki stared at him, speechless. "You..what?"

"Sword practice. Will you come?"

"Wha - how - when have you ever asked me to come for sword practice?" Loki was more baffled than he ever liked to find himself; as a studious academic, he usually like to find answers to matters rather quickly, but the question of how this particular situation came about could not be solved by any amount of time. Also, the idea that this was the longest conversation he had ever held in his life with his older brother did not help clear his head for problem-solving-thinking-mode one bit.

"I haven't. I'm missing a partner for tomorrow, and -"

"What makes you think I would do? You've seen me swordfight." It made flies look like heroes.

"But you're the only one I can think of-"

"Volstagg? Hogun? Fandral?" Loki refused to believe none of them were available.

"Volstagg and Fandral are opponents. Hogun's sick, so I'm missing a person," Thor replied patiently.

Loki stood up and turned away from him, preventing himself from attacking his older brother with frustration, as Thor's face often made him want to do. "And you think I would agree to be your partner, after how you insulted me the other day."

Thor was quiet for a long time before he spoke. "Actually, I came here to - " He stopped, abruptly, looking embarrassed, and changed the subject. "No…I really need a partner, Loki. And if you don't agree, then-" Before Loki could stop him, Thor made a grab for the book Loki had been reading, "I'll destroy this book.

_What the bloody Hel?_ What on Asgard had gone into his head?

When Loki did not answer, from utter confusion, Thor leaned in close to Loki's face, and whispered into his neck with warm breath tickling the skin, "Your book's in danger. What will you do?"

The proximity was too much for Loki. It was unsettling. Loki pushed him away and gave themselves distance. "All right. Fine."

Thor grinned with such joy, having gotten his way with such ease and little manipulation, that Loki wondered who really the god of mischief here was.

Loki did not look forward to it.

* * *

><p><strong>Thor<strong>

Thor needed to apologize. He wanted to, fiercely, partly because he felt truly awful for insulting Loki, and partly because he wanted to see him again. For the past two days since the incident Thor was consumed with a desire to know more about Loki and get closer to him. Try as he might, he couldn't erase his younger brother's shocked, delicate face from his mind. Thor tried to name this strange bittersweet emotion that was, not unpleasantly, taking over him, but it was the first time he'd ever felt like this, so he didn't know what it was.

For two days he sought for his younger brother, but for two days, Loki, either deliberately or conveniently without knowing, evaded Thor.

On the third day, Thor tried asking the maids.

"I'm looking for Loki. Do you know where he is?"

"I believe he's in the room beside that library, sir. He's always there."

"Thank you." Ha! Finally, he was getting somewhere. Thor wondered why he didn't think of doing something so simple earlier.

Thor opened the door, and just as the maid had said, the slender figure of Loki sat with his back to him hunched over a book so thick that simply looking at it made Thor dizzy. Loki turned around at the noise and, at first, looked at the intruder with a blank expression, but by gradual, visible degrees, his face scrunched up and took on a countenance of absolute disgust and uncontainable fury. The look made Thor inwardly quail; he realized that Loki may not want to receive him.

But he was here; Thor told himself he was not a quitter, and will proceed.

"Loki...er…" How should he start normally? "I knew I would find you here, because this is where you always come, as far as what the maids have told me. Erm…" Apologizing too quickly would seem odd, but beating around the bush would probably frustrate them both. Thor's mind fumbled with words; he regretted not having planned beforehand.

"_What_ are you doing here?" Loki looked livid. Thor assumed his anger was because of being interrupted.

"I…er…" _Apologize, Thor! Say the word!_

But try as he might, his pride held stubborn and refused to let him say the word. He didn't want anyone to think him mentally weak and wrong in his actions. His mind was forced to find other materials for conversation and the first thing he thought of was sword practice. "Do you think you can come to sword practice with me?" Thor felt a trickle of regret slide down his spine, but there was nothing he could do now.

Loki stared at him with an adorably shocked expression. "You...what?"

"Sword practice. Will you come?" Thor began warming to his idea; he had steered the conversation away from apologizing, and if he succeeded, he could see Loki again. Two birds with one stone.

"Wha - how - when have you ever asked me to come for sword practice?"

"I haven't. I'm missing a partner for tomorrow, and -"

"What makes you think I would do? You've seen me swordfight." The stare directed at Thor was one of utter bafflement because, indeed, Thor had seen Loki fight before. Thor knew it was bloody mean to think it, but it made flies look like heroes. Thor smiled. Perhaps, if the practice was successful, he might be able to make his younger brother stronger.

"But you're the only one I can think of-"

"Volstagg? Hogun? Fandral?" His younger brother flailed as he attempted to avoid the invitation - probably from politeness or fear of embarrassing himself with his amateurish sword abilities, thought Thor.

But he'd gotten this far in this conversation, and he wasn't about to let his invitation go down the drain. Besides, thought Thor to Loki, _I'll protect you; you needn't worry_. "Volstagg and Fandral are opponents. Hogun's sick, so I'm missing a person." Well, that wasn't exactly true; Hogun, his usual partner, simply had an appointment and may be back in time for the swordfight session; and there were actually plenty of partners for Thor to choose from, but compared to them all, he preferred Loki.

Loki stood up and turned away from him. "And you think I would agree to be your partner, after how you insulted me the other day." His voice was small and sad.

Immediately the desire to apologize came crashing down again on Thor's head and for a few moments his pride seriously struggled to tame it.

It nearly failed. "Actually, I came here to - " He caught himself just in time and changed his course. He hoped Loki didn't notice the abrupt change of topic. "No…I really need a partner, Loki. And if you don't agree, then-" Thor brainstormed quickly about what he could possibly use to threaten out a yes from Loki and when he saw the thick book Loki had been holding, he jumped for the chance. "I'll destroy this book."

Loki simply stood there looking at Thor as if he'd had gone mad. Thor wondered himself if he did, too.

For several long moments as Loki held that face and stared at Thor, Thor had the chance to stare back and again relish the opportunity to look over the delicate features of his younger brother's face, which he did with a rising heartbeat. He wanted to go over and smooth those stiff, yet beautiful, facial muscles into a smile. Thor tried to hold back, but the atmosphere got so that he had to - _needed to_ - go over there and close the distance between them.

Thor leaned in towards the nape of that bare, pale neck, dangerously close to touching, and whispered, "Your book's in danger. What will you do?" Excitement and fear began to grow simultaneously within him as the silence dragged on; excitement from the proximity, and fear from not being to hold back any longer. The latter part of him hoped that Loki would answer quickly.

At last, Loki pushed him away, and stammered, "All right. Fine."

Thor pulled back, jerked out of his reverie from the brusqueness of the voice. He was both relieved, because his invitation was accepted, and disappointed, because the excitement was gone. What was wrong with him? But that question can be pondered upon later. At the present, Thor was far too happy to have gotten his way using such ease and little manipulation with the god of mischief that joy was all that occupied his mind.

Thor nearly skipped out of the room with Loki's book, victorious.


	5. Ch 3: The Fight Goes Amiss

**Loki**

The day of dread approached too quickly, and came too soon.

It was only yesterday, actually, since Thor intruded upon his studies and invited - no, forced - Loki to partner up for swordfight practice. For the entire night he tried to think of legitimate ways to escape or cancel the session, going as far as contemplating self-injury, but in the end he decided to go through with it. Admittedly, he was actually quite curious as to how it would go.

Sword fighting lessons were held in arena far west from Loki's room, and he had to travel quite a way to it while carrying his equipments. Halfway to his destination, he met Sigyn, who was also heading towards the arena to practice.

"Oh, hello Loki," she greeted with a gentle smile.

"Hello," Loki returned. He thought her one of the better-looking of the girls in the palace; she was one of the most feminine, and Loki felt that the other girls were much too masculine for his tastes, so influenced were they by the war-lusting men that surrounded them. Sif was a consummate example. She made men feel weak, and Loki was quite sensitive about his strength.

"This is quite a surprise, Loki," she remarked. "I have never seen you going to the arena before. I thought you rather hated sword fighting?"

"Well, yes, actually, I do."

"Then why…?"

"Thor…made me." Loki grimaced, embarrassed, as he answered her query.

A small burst of surprised laughter escaped her lips. "What did he do to you?"

"He…er…threatened to destroy my books." It was a terrible threat to Loki, but for some reason, it sounded rather stupid as he said it.

"Ah," she murmured sympathetically, "That would have been terrible."

Loki nodded. "Do you read?"

"Sometimes." Sigyn smiled dreamily. "It's good to escape reality once in a while."

"Yes it is," he agreed.

For a while, they walked in silence, Loki wondering with amusement whether he had just found a companion to whom he could relate. Even though Sigyn was part of the circle around Thor which Loki rather disapproved, this close encounter revealed that she was quite sweet, and he felt that he would like to know her better despite his opinions on friendship.

"Who is your partner?" asked Loki.

She looked surprised at the abrupt question. "Sif."

"Do you like to train with her?"

"Yes, I do! She's a wonderful swordswoman; her skills rival that of Thor's, if I may be frank. Speaking of which," she said, suddenly taking on a conspiratorial tone, "I think she has a fancy for him."

"Does she now?" But Loki was not surprised; he had seen how she looked at him, as if he were an idol. Besides, he wondered if there was anyone aside from himself who did not like the "perfect" Asgardian boy.

By now the two had arrived at the arena. It was an enormous oval structure that was split in half by a white line, one side for male training, the other for female training. At the centre of the male training side was Thor with his sword, practicing and striking at an imaginary opponent, and as Loki muttered a temporary farewell to Sigyn and was about to head towards his dreaded opponent, she stopped him and said:

"Loki, wait. Er…you know, Thor's one of the best of swordsmen here, and since he's not the most rational of us, please be careful during the training. I've seen some men become…quite injured." She looked genuinely concerned.

Loki nodded in understanding. "Oh, I will. Thank you."

She smiled. "Well then. Good luck!" Flinging her salutation into the air, Sigyn turned and headed towards Sif.

Her wish of luck warmed him a little, and with a lighter heart than with which he first came, Loki walked to Thor, who, upon seeing him, gave an enormous beam.

"Loki! You came!" he exclaimed strangely happily, disregarding that the loudness of his voice had others staring.

"Of course I did. How could I not, after your threat?" Loki answered tersely.

"Oh, don't be like that. Come, now, at me."

They stood, facing each other, each adopting their own stance with their swords. They took a few moments to obtain the right mood and state of mind. Around them, many had stopped practicing and were beginning to form a vague circle, curious and excited to see the two princes of Asgard fight each other. Such an event had not occurred in a very, very, very long time. Even a few warrior women had crossed the border to witness the fight.

Thor was the first to strike. With the speed of Sleipnir he came at Loki, deftly swinging his sword, which Loki barely saw arcing in a silver light above his head before he dodged. The blade was so close to his cheek the hair on his skin quivered.

Stepping back, Loki bit his lip as he waited for a shower of cold sweat to pass. Though he knew his brother to be an excellent swordsman, he had never anticipated Thor to be _this _skilled. A small trickle of fear wormed its way into Loki's heart; he was more than a little rusty in his swordsmanship and he feared that his lack of talent in a subject so highly respected would be amplified by fighting someone like Thor, and in front of an increasing audience, no less.

"Strike at me, Loki," egged Thor. There was irritating grin on his face that Loki wanted to wipe off.

This was no good. Loki had to strike. Everyone was watching. Out of the corner of his eyes he also saw Sigyn watching nervously, and for some reason he suddenly anticipated his defeat all the more strongly.

So at Thor went Loki. Holding his sword high above his head for momentum, he charged at his brother with all the speed he could possibly muster.

But Thor nullified his attack with an effortless swing - no, a simple flick - of his sword. While Loki huffed and gasped from the exertion, Thor hardly broke a sweat. For four more times was this repeated, and for four more bloody times were the attacks deflected.

"Come on, brother," said Thor lightly. "You can't expect to beat me with such weak attempts."

_Weak? _

That struck home. With a sudden surge of adrenaline, triggered by that word alone, Loki charged at Thor, his blood rushing to his head from anger. This time, Thor seemed to use a little more energy as he sidestepped the ire-fuelled strike, and Thor's sword actually twisted slightly out of grip from clanging with Loki's.

The crowd gasped. No one had ever tested Thor before, much less someone like Loki.

_"That's_ more like it, Loki," exclaimed Thor. Loki wondered why he was smiling so joyously when his title as the best fighter of Asgard just slipped a little.

Fuelled by irk, anger, exasperation and adrenaline Loki charged once more at his annoying brother and aimed for an unprotected spot by the legs, while Thor did as well at Loki. Being small for his size Loki was rather quick, which compensated a little for his lack of physical ability, and he could almost taste victory as his blade closed the distance between the target and itself. It so happened, however, that Loki was so preoccupied in watching his sword that he did not see Thor's sword swinging down right above him.

It was the worst foul a swordsman could possibly make: inattention to his surroundings.

If Loki had noticed at that moment, he may have - albeit just barely - avoided it and escaped with a slight cut. But he did not, and by the time he looked up and dashed back, it was too late. The sharpest point of Thor's weapon sliced like silver lightning down his chest, a symphony of pain signals accompanying the sensation.

And it did not stop there.

Though the metal left his flesh at the navel, it continued through his armor and clothes, down where it was personal, and exposed to the entire wide-eyed audience what only Loki himself knew.

It was so. Bloody. Embarrassing.

After the sword finally ceased contact, Loki fell with a jaw-shuddering thud onto the dusty floor of the arena. He clutched at his wound and clothes, desperately trying to cover them. The audience was whispering, full of slanderous and bemused voices, and Loki fought hard to tune the noise out and focus on his pain instead.

He heard Thor throw down his sword and approach him. The footsteps evoked within Loki a sudden surge of pure black hatred and he stood up abruptly, defensively, despite the pain in his chest. He wished and hoped that the look he aimed at his older brother could destroy him.

Thor stopped approaching, turning his palm outwards. "Loki, I…I'm so sorry. Please, I didn't mean to…"

But Loki would not have any of it. He was sick of Thor's dirty ways of publicly insulting and disgracing him. Clutching his clothes, he sped out of the arena through the mass of condescending onlookers, nurturing and soaking his mind in the hatred he had for Thor and tried to forget about that stupid man once and for all.

But Loki could not erase from his mind the image of Thor's face right before the sword had struck.

It had been full of concern, fear, and regret.

_Why_?

* * *

><p><strong>Thor<strong>

Thor struck, slashed and charged at an invisible foe with vibrant energy.

People noticed that he was more lively than usual, and asked why. Thor simply replied that something good was going to happen.

He couldn't wait.

Thor often, since the vase incident, wondered why and where in Asgard he had acquired this strange feeling towards his brother. It left him reeling with sparkling happiness and a summer-warm sensation, especially when he thought about the person of the cause. The only thing that irked him, albeit mildly, was that he couldn't name the emotion.

Yes, he could try talking to his friends or Mother Frigga, but that idea seemed oddly embarrassing.

As he struck, slashed and charged about, he thought about what he would do when Loki arrived. First, he would evaluate Loki's skills. After that, if Loki allowed him, Thor would impart to him some basic lessons to improve his sword abilities; since the time Loki first caught his attention Thor became strangely aware of how weak his brother was and wanted fiercely to make him stronger.

His happy thoughts were interrupted as the silhouette of Loki appeared before him.

"Loki! You came!" he boomed, elated.

"Of course I did. How could I not, after your threatening me?" Loki answered dryly. He was so slender his armor hung on his frame a little too loosely and clanged about as he walked. The clumsy look made him even more endearing to Thor.

"Oh, don't be like that," said he, wishing to cheer him up. "Come, now, at me."

He faced Loki with an easy bearing and watched Loki make his stance. It was quite good, actually, and for a moment Thor felt that he may not have to worry about Loki's abilities after all. Thor even struck first, to encourage competition. But after a while his hopes were dashed like dust when he saw that the strikes Loki made could have been deflected by flies.

"Come on, brother," said Thor. "You can't expect to beat me with such weak attempts."

That did it. Thor saw a small spark of energy course through those startling green eyes, and was quite surprised at the sudden improvement in skill as Loki struck at him. Thor smiled; this was more like it, and he said so. The audience gasped and Thor thought he could hear their wonder and awe for his little brother. Loki struck again, with equal fervor.

But this time, things went bad.

Loki had moved a little too fast, and by pure instinct, Thor used a move that both blocked and attacked the opponent, a move that should have been reserved only for professional-level battles. He couldn't stop the reflexive contractions of his muscles and as the sword sliced down - down - down towards Loki, he was overcome with fear.

_Look up, Loki, look up!_ Thor thought frantically.

Loki did look up, but a second too late. For a brief moment their eyes met, the emerald eyes wide with surprise, before Loki leaped back. But it was too late.

Thor was functioning at a speed too high to possibly stop in such a short time. Helpless, he watched as his sword sliced through Loki's armor, clothes, flesh - wincing as beads of dark crimson blood oozed through the white skin - and inevitably, dreadfully, most regretfully, in front of an enormous audience, down to _it._

What had he done? What had he _done? _

Horror described not even a fraction of what Thor felt then. He was terrified for Loki's injury and health, dismayed at his lack of control, sorry to have allowed the situation to go so amiss and gravely afraid that Loki might come to hate him. The sight of Loki lying there, clutching his wound in pain and embarrassment, drove an axe into his heart.

The thought of Loki hating him was surprisingly painful.

Letting the sword drop from his hand, Thor began to approach Loki, wanting badly to apologize and make up for his mistake. However, Loki stood up defiantly and unsteadily before Thor could touch him, and gave a look that made the god of thunder break a cold sweat.

Thor put up his hands to show he meant no harm. "Loki, I…I'm so sorry. Please, I didn't mean to…"

Loki didn't let him finished. The injured young god stomped out of the arena and left Thor standing there awkwardly in the middle of a bewildered, whispering crowd.

Sorrowful, Thor was about to gather his equipment and leave when he saw, out of the corner of his eyes, Sigyn run after Loki with a hurried stride of concern.

Thor frowned. What was their relationship?

* * *

><p><strong><em>Thank you so much for following so far! <em>**

**_If you have any thoughts at all, please email me or write a review! Thank you again._**


	6. Ch 4: A Contractual Friendship

**Loki**

Never, he told himself, will he agree to do anything with Thor again.

Ever.

He could not believe that he had willingly walked into yet another trap of humiliation that his brother seemed rather too keen on setting upon him recently. The invitation should have been turned down; what was an injured book compared to an injured pride and body?

Loki clutched his tattered clothes and wound and winced as he sped to his private study room in the library, desiring solitude in which he can heal and sulk in peace. Blood flowed profusely out of his unnaturally pale skin while the pain and the loss of it dizzied him. He could not be caught by the servants, who would report him to his mother, who in turn would probably dote upon him in the most sickening manner. He could not be caught by his father, who would probably lecture him about his many faults as he would praise Thor on his many merits. But most of all, he could not be caught by Thor's friends, who would happily tell his older brother what a success his stupid little stunt was.

The library was empty when he reached it. His private study room, in the most obscure corner of the library, remained untouched since the last time he was there, when Thor had invited him to what he should have foreseen was going to be a disastrous event.

He groaned as he flopped into his chair. Waving his fingers slightly and muttering a few spells, he patched up the part of his clothes that revealed more than was necessary, leaving only his wound exposed, and cursed.

Thor. That merciless, stupid, annoying, hateful oaf. How could he do this? Loki never knew his older brother would stoop to this level, of charming in his victim's trust and affection completely before attacking and betraying the victim in whatever possible manner to suit his lust for entertainment and popularity. Loki knew it seemed much too odd for Thor to suddenly pay him so much attention. He could almost cry with indignation; Loki was his next victim, and he was already bearing the side-effects: his clothes were so saturated with blood they looked like red silk.

What was he going to do?

Though Loki knew he was quite a master of magics and spells, he had never been as proficient as he liked to be in healing arts, and thus, he had never tried taking it up. As he realized this, and looked at the large gash of a wound across his chest, which was screaming pain and still spewing blood, he also realized that he had no choice but to see the healers, which was the same deal as being caught by servants.

As irritating thoughts flew through his mind, the door opened. For a moment, he thought it was Thor, and was about to throw a nearby book at the intruder -

- when he saw that the intruder was only Sigyn.

"Wh…what are you doing here?" asked Loki, hastily putting the book down, surprised that she had managed to find his room.

Sigyn did not answer; instead, she gasped in horror at the sight of his wound and his bloodied hands and rushed to his side. "My goodness," she cried, "what are you doing with a wound like this in the _library?_"

"I don't want the world to know about this," stated Loki as if it were obvious.

She raised her eyebrows at him in disbelief. "Oh, so you thought that audience back there won't spread rumours?"

Loki blanched. That…was a point.

She shook her head. "You are awfully simple sometimes, Loki. Here, please let me…" Sigyn reached out and placed her index finger at the top of the gash, which was below his collarbone, hovering just an inch above the broken skin, and quietly hummed some unfamiliar sounds. Her finger began to glow a warm yellow light. Loki felt a tingling, not unpleasant sensation around where she pointed, and saw with amazement the skin and flesh beginning to seal up, the tissues moving together like mingling liquid, leaving no scar behind.

Her glowing finger made its way down the gash, and by the time it reached the end, which was slightly past the navel, Loki's skin had no more indication of the wound than had he never been in the fight.

"Where…did you learn this?" asked Loki, still shocked.

Sigyn exhaled from the exertion. "My mother was a talented healer. She taught me quite a lot when I was a child."

Loki looked down again at his chest. Though there was no more broken flesh, his skin was still caked in crimson blood, and he ran a finger across the rough surfaces of the dried substance, thinking that he must soon take a bath.

Sigyn must have noticed the movement, for she pulled out a handkerchief, wetted it with warm water with a simple spell, and said, "Here, let me wipe that off for you." Leaning forward, she placed the cloth on his bloodied skin, and Loki noticed with bemused curiosity that as she wiped, a slight pink flush spread across her cheeks.

Loki was about to ask her what the matter was, when, for the second time of the day, the door opened, and in walked a haggard Thor.

"Loki, listen, I must apolo-" he blurted, until he noticed Sigyn in the room.

She quickly withdrew her hand and handkerchief as if they had been touching fire, while Loki looked away from his older brother with absolute disgust.

For several moments a strained silence hung between them. Then Thor said, with a surprising tone of irritation, "Sigyn, will you give Loki and me a few moments?"

She clenched her fists and stalked out of the room with a heavy stroll quite unlike her usual feminine gait, but not before throwing Thor a glacial expression of pure disdain.

Loki felt a new surge of respect for the young lady.

When the door shut, Loki stood up to leave the room as well. Thor was an extremely unwelcome sight right now, what with the incident still fresh in his mind. Unfortunately, there was not much room for him to maneuver around in to reach the door without passing within an arm length's distance of Thor. Thus before he could leave the room Thor grabbed Loki by the shoulder, and did not let go. Loki tried jerking away, but -

"Loki, please! Listen to what I have to say!"

The desperate tone startled Loki into stillness; he had never heard Thor sound so distressed and sorrowful in his entire life, and it brought back the image of Thor's frightened face before the sword had struck.

Thor, sensing that Loki was tamed, returned his hands to his side. His head was down, and he looked sincerely regretful. "Loki, I know I should have said this a long time ago, ever since you caught the vase for me."

Loki waited, scarcely willing to believe - or hope, for that matter - what seemed to be coming.

An apology from the proud God of Thunder.

"I…I…" said Thor, obviously struggling to do what he rarely ever did - that is, apologize, "I'm sorry, Loki. Is there anything I can do for you?"

Loki stared at Thor's face, still expecting to see it break into its signature grin to call it a bluff, but it did not.

"No," said Loki coldly, despite feeling a little softened because of Thor's sincerity, "You've done enough. Leave me alone."

"But, Loki, I must -"

"I said no!" Loki stepped back away from Thor's outreached hands, frustrated, murderously annoyed at his persistence.

But he had stepped back with much more force than he had intended, and having forgotten how close he was to a shelf, Loki slammed straight into it and it begin to topple. The shelf, which housed a large number of thick volumes, leaned backwards and forwards like a drunken giant, and the agitation cause the books to begin leaving their places. Loki looked up, and saw with a helpless dread a particularly large tome flying straight towards his head.

"Loki!" cried Thor, and with wide eyes and a desperate expression, reached for Loki.

Loki closed his eyes, believing that Thor will not make it, knowing that he himself cannot move fast enough to avoid the falling book, and waited tensely for the impact and subsequent void of oblivion.

It did not come.

Instead of a blow to the head, what felt like a warm, rigid cushion of a pleasant musky smell enveloped him. In that instant Loki was overwhelmed with a sudden sense of safety and comfort. When he opened his eyes to see what could have possibly made him feel what not even the greatest of books has ever made him feel, he looked straight at a pair of very well-defined collar bones. Thor's thick, muscular arm was what held him, encircling his waist in a firm yet gentle grip, and he held Loki so close that their chests were nearly squashed up against one another's, with Loki's curled arms as their only impediment. When he looked up - his brother was, annoyingly, half a head taller than Loki - Thor's worried face eclipsed his entire field of vision.

"Are you all right?" asked Thor.

Loki was so utterly speechless at their sudden proximity and at Thor's distressed expression that he did not even attempt to push Thor away.

Thor's deep blue eyes were wide with true concern. As Loki did not speak, Thor leaned forward, letting his gold hair brush Loki's pale cheeks, and spoke softly, gently, into his ears, "Loki, I am sorry. I truly am."

Loki still could not speak or stir. He wondered if the shock would ever wear off.

"I…" Thor was evidently struggling with words, which shocked Loki even more, because Thor had always been one who did not care about his words. Thor had always fluently spoken out about how he felt, a trait that Loki had always secretly admired, being congenitally reticent.

"I know I did wrong and must have hurt you, in more than one way. I wanted to apologize before, but I had neither the courage nor your willing time for me to do so. But now that I do, I'd like to tell you how I truly feel. I…"

He paused, and then gripped Loki's waist more tightly, and Loki realized, with a startle, how well his arm and hand fit the crook of his back. Loki also realized that he was not uncomfortable in this position and that a slight flush of a strange, warm sensation had begun to encircle his heart, just as Thor's arm encircled his waist. What was it?

"…I feel that I must compensate you for the trouble I've caused you," he continued after a short pause. "I want to. Will you let me repay with…with friendship?"

Loki wished he could see Thor's face; he still doubted, if only slightly, Thor's sincerity, for flippancy and forgetfulness constituted a major portion of his nature. He thought about Thor's request: friendship with his irritating brother was not the most tempting of compensations, but Loki suspected that Thor would probably not relent until he agreed, and Loki really could not handle any more of these encounters. Also, the proximity to Thor and the hand on his back was beginning to unease him, but not because they were uncomfortable; no, it was because he was comfortable that he felt uncomfortable. If that made any sense.

A length of time had passed since Thor had voiced his request. Then Thor implored, once more, warmly in Loki's ear, "Please, Loki. I feel truly bad for what I have done. Will you…?"

The warm breath that tickled his earlobes, the physical proximity and the hand on his back began to unease Loki more and more, so at last, Loki relented.

"Fine, I will. Th-thank you. Now please," said Loki, struggling to push Thor away and turning his face down, afraid for some unknown reason that Thor might see the flush on his cheeks, "let me go."

For a hesitant - perhaps_ reluctant_ would be a better word - moment longer did Thor hold Loki. Then, he let go.

Loki stepped back hastily, strangely embarrassed. He glanced at Thor and started at the innocent joy on his brother's face. Thor had a pleasant grin and his blue eyes twinkled with delight, appearing to Loki like two drops of liquid dawn sky. For a moment Loki saw how smooth and defined his sharp Asgardian features were, and for a moment Loki understood why he was so popular among the court peoples. His muscular build was quite attractive, and Loki could feel a lingering echo of that strong arm around his back.

Loki was appalled. Did he just think that his brother was _attractive?_

* * *

><p><strong>Thor<strong>

The thought of Sigyn and Loki together annoyed him. He didn't know why, but it _annoyed_ him.

But that wasn't important. He stomped his way through the muttering audience in the direction in which Loki had limped off, seriously concerned about the wound he had so unwittingly created on his dear brother's chest. It was truly unintentional, but the receiver may not have perceived it so. So Thor had to set it right and regain Loki's trust.

Expecting to see a trace of Loki turning a corner or some like situation - he couldn't have moved quickly with that nasty wound - Thor exited the sword arena. But Loki was nowhere to be seen.

Where was he?

Thor reasoned and mentally crossed out possible locations to which Loki might have headed. The healing room was most definitely an unlikely destination, since the healers worked for their mother and Thor knew that Loki was not the type to allow others to worry about him. He was probably nowhere near anywhere that had servants, for the same reason. Loki must have gone quickly to a rather secluded area where he could heal and sulk in peace, away from public eyes, away from the world.

The only place Thor knew to fit the description was Loki's study room. So it was there that Thor headed.

Thor was quite irritated with himself for having ruined what he had anticipated to be a wonderful event in which he could have the chance to form a relationship with Loki. But now, because of his pride, lack of control and love to flaunt, he had probably obliterated any good opinions Loki might have had of him, destroyed what meager and depraved bond they might have ever shared, and worst of all, seriously injured both the mind and body of his delicate little sibling. He could only hope now that Loki will listen and might forgive him. He hoped that his chance to form a bond with Loki might not be lost.

Lost in thoughts, Thor soon arrived at the library. He hurried to Loki's study room, feeling increasingly nervous and needful to apologize as he neared it, and flung open the door, saying, "Loki, listen, I must apolo-"

He had forgotten about Sigyn.

When he saw her, leaning over Loki's bare bloodied chest with a wet handkerchief in her hand, he felt a sudden surge of a nasty, acidic, unnamed feeling ooze into his heart. Something close to hatred veiled his eyes as he looked at her, and though he was of a naturally optimistic and joyful disposition, it left him cold and cranky, and surprisingly depressed, as if he'd just spent a better part of a vacation in Jotunheim.

She had snatched her hand away from Loki as if she'd been caught in a disgraceful act, and was staring at Thor with coldness for the interruption. Thor knew that his apology would not be quite as effective with a third person present, so, mustering all the self-control he could, he asked her, though still spilling a bit of irritation in his tone, "Sigyn, will you give Loki and me a few moments?"

Throwing him a look of pure contempt and loathing, she stalked out of the room. For a brief second Thor felt that their feelings for one another could be considered mutual.

Loki also stood up after she had left, and made for the door as well, evidently eager to avoid Thor.

It pained Thor horribly to see Loki resent him so much, but he couldn't blame him. But that was the point of this meeting, wasn't it? To reverse the negative feelings Thor had created between them, and he was going to do his utmost to make Loki listen.

Before Loki could pass him, Thor grabbed Loki by his thin arm, and the latter's subsequent attempt to jerk away to freedom was not unexpected. They struggled for a few moments - though it was obviously a losing battle for the much, much weaker Loki - until Thor had enough and couldn't contain his frustration any longer.

"Loki, please! Listen to what I have to say!"

His desperation must have saturated his tone, for Loki abruptly stopped struggling and looked at Thor's face with a start. The resentment and anger in the pale face had been replaced by surprise and curiosity. And once again, those sparkling emerald eyes and delicate feature succeeded in mesmerizing Thor.

Thor sensed that Loki had relented, and released him from his grip. Bowing his head to show his genuine sorrow, he began his apology. "Loki, I know I should have said this a long time ago, ever since you caught the vase for me."

Loki remained silent, continuing to stare with wonder and curiosity.

"I…I…" stuttered Thor, struggling to find the exact words that would convey what he was presently feeling, "I'm sorry, Loki. Is there anything I can do for you?"

A brief silence passed, but to Thor, it felt like a long time.

"No," said Loki at last, coldly, a mask of resentment returning. "You've done enough. Leave me alone."

Thor was crestfallen. The glare in the beautiful, feminine face, directed at him, caused him such agony as he had never known before. He began to panic and reached for Loki again. "But, Loki, I must -"

"I said no!" Loki quickly stepped away, as if Thor's hands were curses, and this hurt Thor even more.

Then Loki slammed into a shelf behind him, which began to wobble. Books began flying out and raining down on them like a storm, and Thor saw with dread a particularly heavy, dangerous black volume aiming straight for Loki's unprotected head.

"Loki!" cried Thor, a surge of fear and worry coursing through him like adrenaline. He reached out, praying - begging - that he'd make it in time, grabbing the cringing Loki by the waist, holding him firm and close to his body and leaping back out of the way just before the falling book crashed onto the floor with ripping pages.

The ordeal was over, and Thor breathed hard from rushes of adrenaline. He looked down at Loki, watching with tenderness the tightly closed eyes and the furrowed brows of the otherwise smooth skin which seemed to anticipate a heavy blow. After a while, when the blow didn't come, Loki opened his eyes slowly, and suddenly looked up into Thor's eyes.

"Are you all right?" asked Thor.

Loki opened his mouth, but no words came out.

This position, of holding Loki by the waist so close to his own heart, satiated some of the protectiveness that Thor had felt for him ever since the day of vase incident, and the accompanying feelings were quite, quite pleasant, fuelling his confidence and will to forge a bond between them. Mesmerized yet again by Loki's clear, sparkling emerald irises and delicate, almost feminine features, Thor held his gaze until he remembered what he was here for. He then realized he probably couldn't speak properly what with Loki's face distracting him, so he leaned and spoke softly into Loki's ears.

"Loki, I am sorry. I truly am."

Loki neither stirred nor moved. So Thor continued.

"I…" Thor paused, thinking hard, wanting to use the most precise words to explain his feelings. "I know I did wrong and must have hurt you, in more than one way. I wanted to apologize before, but I had neither the courage nor your willing time for me to do so. But now that I do, I'd like to tell you how I truly feel. I…"

_I think I'm in love with you._

What?

He stopped. It was his own voice that had spoken to him. He was shocked at the voice that had suddenly - with extreme clarity, too - whispered what he had never consciously realized, and in shock his muscles tensed. The situation had forced his deepest feelings into words.

Suddenly, Thor felt _incredibly_ embarrassed, though he didn't know why.

"…I feel that I must compensate you for the trouble I've caused you," he continued, quickly rethinking. "I want to. Will you let me repay with…with friendship?" He couldn't very well say "a bond", "a close relationship", and least of all, "love", while "friendship" seemed like a pretty reasonable start, and Thor could build on it later. He desperately wanted to see how Loki was responding to his request but refrained, afraid that if he did he might be hypnotized by those eyes and become unable to proceed.

For a moment too long, Loki didn't answer. Thor began to fear that his request may be refused - since the longer the silence the more a refusal was likely - and he spoke again, renewing his efforts, "Please, Loki. I feel truly bad for what I have done. Will you…?"

Loki's breath hitched, almost inaudibly, and finally _- finally _- he said, "Fine, I will. Th-thank you. Now please, let me go." Thor felt a bit of force pushing on his chest.

Reluctantly, Thor let go. As soon as he did, he eagerly looked at Loki's face, desiring to know whether it was hatred, exasperation or sympathy that caused Loki to relent, and was surprised how flushed and pink Loki's usually pale face was.

Thor smiled. Had he somehow touched a soft spot?

* * *

><p><em><strong>Thank you so much for your reviews! I truly appreciate you for taking the time to read this and to tell me your thoughts about it. Any criticism is welcome! I'm always looking to improve. <strong>_


	7. Ch 5: The Perfect Friendship Has Flaws

**Loki**

Well. Perhaps his brother was not as horrible as he had made him out to be.

After the apology, Thor looked so pleased and innocently happy that Loki almost felt guilty for not having agreed sooner. He noticed that, for the first time in all of the years that they had ever been brothers, there was a noticeably different - lighter - air between them. He also noticed that, all of a sudden, after Loki had agreed to his request, he saw Thor as a much less disagreeable person than before. Almost likeable.

In the following days and weeks, Thor would appear here and there around Loki, always looking to help him, talk to him, invite him to some sort of party he was holding, tease him or simply to keep him company. At first Loki was reluctant to grant him entrance to his life. But Thor was so persistent and eager to fulfill his payment of friendship that, only a few days into their agreement, Loki surrendered and let him in. When he did so, he found that Thor was actually not so unpleasant and that, sometimes, his company was rather soothing and entertaining to be by - but of course, Loki would never admit this to Thor. And thus, gradually, almost unconsciously, Loki began warming up to him. He would sometimes tell Thor his thoughts and problems about various things - something he would never have done before, and Thor would promptly give a gentle reply or counter of some sort that was exactly in accordance to what Loki needed at the moment. When Loki was troubled, angered or saddened - often due to his father's neglect or cold attitude - Thor would be there for him, offering kind words, soothing caresses and a sympathetic shoulder to dry Loki's mental tears. He gradually stopped feeling uncomfortable when Thor popped up out of nowhere. He noticed that sometimes, he would even go and seek out Thor's company himself.

No doubt, the people around them began to notice. They showed mild amusement, surprise and curiosity about the antagonistic siblings' sudden and unexpected friendship. This actually proved to be beneficial for Loki; most of the palace were on marvelous terms with Thor, and so, having become a good friend - as far as everyone else was concerned - of Thor's, Loki began to be treated with more kindness than he had ever received. Though he did not like attention, he had to admit it was quite pleasing.

There was only one problem.

Thor was not the only friend that Loki made after the swordfighting incident. Sigyn was another, and she was, to Loki's relief, not as pushy about friendship as his older brother was. As he increased his time with Thor, he also increased his time with Sigyn, and thus more and more frequently, his two new friends ran into one another. And always, when they met, Thor and Sigyn would bring about a dark mood discordant to their natural temperaments.

Sigyn was cold to Thor, but she did not show signs of loathing; there was only disdain and exasperation in her face whenever Thor was nearby, and Loki assumed that perhaps she was simply annoyed at Thor for having been such a bully.

Thor, however, was a different story. He, unlike her, showed open signs of irritation and loathing of Sigyn, and sometimes implied that he did not like Loki spending time with her. This confused Loki immensely; she was a gentle girl, a kind friend and would not hurt a fly for her own life. For popularity magnets such as Thor, were friends not the very thing they advocated? Why was he then so against Loki befriending her?

One day, Loki tried asking Thor about it.

"Is there something about Sigyn that you find disagreeable?" asked Loki casually.

Thor paused, looking a little uncomfortably at Loki, and then a dark, sad smile quite unbecoming of his handsome Asgardian features passed over his face as he said, haltingly -

"She…distracts…"

Thor then refused to elaborate upon his enigmatic comment by changing topics.

Loki did not give too much thought to Thor's behaviour towards Sigyn. There were people in the universe that simply do not, cannot, and will not, connect with one another; it seemed as if Thor and Sigyn were two such people. It was still a cause for interest, however, so seeing that Thor was obdurate in withholding his opinions about Sigyn from Loki - other than that she "distracts" - Loki turned to Sigyn, wondering whether her feelings might reflect Thor's.

One gloomy day Sigyn and Loki were lolling in his library study room, and knowing her to be of a pleasant and phenomenally tolerant nature - except to Thor - Loki approached his subject without beating around the bush.

"Sigyn," he said, to mark a start of a conversation.

"Yes?" she replied amiably, looking up from her book.

"I can't help noticing a rather harsh antagonism between you and Thor. Can you enlighten me?"

Sigyn chewed her lower lip, pondering how to answer, her brows furrowed in the strain of heavy thinking, and glanced at the door. Before Loki could wonder how such a simple question could elicit such intense and prolonged deliberation, she replied, "What do you think of Thor?"

Surprised, Loki said, "What do you mean?"

"I mean, what do you consider Thor as?"

Loki could not tell whether she was building up to answer his question, or had already evaded it and was moving on to another topic. He decided to go along with her, curious to see where it would lead. "If I think I understand your question, I'd say that I would consider him…a friend."

Sigyn quirked her eyebrows. "Why did you pause?"

"Well, actually…" It was Loki's turn to chew his lips and ponder his answer. "In truth, though Thor seems to consider me a good friend of his, I think I see him as more of an acquaintance." It was true; relatively speaking, there was still quite a lot of himself Loki withheld from Thor, a lot more than what was considered acceptable between friends.

"Really?" she said with a mysterious smile.

There was a sudden squeak and a thud just outside the door, barely audible so that Loki nearly attributed it as a hitch of his imagination. He got up and checked, however, but no one was there.

"Did you hear that?" he asked Sigyn as he returned to his chair.

"No? What is it?" she asked innocently.

Loki frowned. He was sure he had heard something.

Whatever. Perhaps it _was_ his imagination.

* * *

><p><strong>Thor<strong>

Thor was very, very happy.

He had succeeded in advancing his relationship with Loki from "cold brothers" to "somewhat friends" in his first try, which was quite a leap in such a short time. Better yet, though Loki seemed not to show it, Thor was very confident that his new friend was secretly enjoying their new relationship and that the bad impression Loki had always had of Thor was now slowly fading away.

In the course of the few weeks that followed their agreement, Thor felt that they undoubtedly grew closer. At first Loki was quite reserved, but gradually, Loki obviously began to open up, after much prodding from Thor's part. It was a surprise for Thor to discover Loki's true nature; his younger brother's cold attitude, so often mistaken as condescension, was simply a lack of self-confidence. Thor discovered that Loki used his brain far beyond what was considered healthy, often in a negative way, generating imaginary issues and problems that frequently led to depression and bad moods. But there were also many problems Loki had that were real, the foremost of which was antagonism with their father. Thor felt as distressed as Loki about this, and always tried to be there when Loki's days went a little too off. And when he managed to extract a smile, however small, from that delicate little face, Thor felt as rewarded as if he'd been the one being cheered up.

As he began to know more about Loki, Loki grew more and more pleasing and beautiful to Thor's eyes, so that Thor wanted to get closer and closer to him. But Thor knew that that behaviour would just ship him back to square one, so he held back. Thor was happy enough for now, and happy for now he will remain.

There were just two problems.

First, Sigyn. Her name made him tense with black irritation. Thor was smart enough to deduce from her behaviour towards Loki that she and Thor shared the same feelings, and he was afraid that he outwardly showed his loathing of her a little too often. Jealousy grew like a rabid vine inside his rib cage whenever she spent too much time with Loki. He was also afraid that her charms and subdued temperament might appeal to Loki so much more than his own rougher disposition.

Loki had noticed Thor's resentment of Sigyn and had even asked him about it.

"Is there something about Sigyn that you find disagreeable?" Loki had asked with a curious expression.

How would he reply? There was nothing innocent he could say about his loathing of her without revealing his feelings for Loki, which he felt was not something Loki might be prepared to hear. So he could only say, "She…distracts…"

_She distracts you, and I don't like that_ - was what he had been thinking. But that reply would have elicited unnecessary questions, and so Thor had hastily moved on to other topics.

The second problem was his father. Odin's lack of love for his second son was famous, though unspoken about, and it created distressing obstacles for Thor in advancing his friendship with Loki. Odin had noticed their sudden closeness, and was not quite pleased, to Thor's confusion.

Then one day, his father called him in for "a little talk".

"What is this that I hear about you and Loki?" asked Odin gruffly in his private study room.

"We've become good friends," stated Thor happily, hoping to cheer his father out of whatever was displeasing him.

"Since when have you ever seen your brother as more than a nuisance?"

"Yes, at first. But now I know he's much more than that."

"I see." Odin mulled over something. "Well."

"Is something the matter, father?"

Odin stroked his silver beard, his expression deeply thoughtful, and a lengthy moment stretched between them. Finally, he said, "As your father, Thor, I do not believe Loki to be…good company for you."

"What do you mean? Isn't he your son as well?" There was something unsettling and dark lurking behind those words, and Thor was troubled - an emotion he rarely ever experienced, and it distressed him.

Odin sighed heavily, and his stout frame withered as though his bones were deflating. The disturbing feeling that was growing inside of Thor now sprouted wings and he felt that a forbidden door of dark secrets was about to be opened. Thor might have stopped it if he could, but unfortunately, it was Odin who held the key.

Then his father spoke, and Thor knew that the door had opened, and it couldn't be closed again. With a heavy voice, Odin spoke. "I think it is time you are enlightened to a secret about this family, a secret that has touched no ears and is known by no one…but me."

Thor listened, unable to speak and afraid of what was to come.

"Centuries ago," Odin began, "when I headed the wars against the Jotuns, I had always wondered and wished that our two nations could somehow be permanently settled, at peace with one another. On the day we emerged victorious, in the aftermath of the last battle, I lingered around the Temple, paying my last respects to the once-glorious nation, and I found a baby. It was quite small for a giant's offspring. Abandoned, suffering, left to die, I took pity on the innocent child and I took him in as my own. I had plans that, through a familial bond between you - _my _son - and him - _Laufey's_ son, that we might bring about an everlasting alliance one day.

"But my pity for him soon turned into regret, and then into loathing, as I witnessed his becoming a stranger and stranger being, who despised company, practiced magic and studied beyond what is appropriate for his age, and who has absolutely no care for those around him. He has nothing I can be proud of as a son. And thus I suppose," he finished with a concluding air, "that what is inherent in one's blood cannot be changed."

A sense of absolute, pure dread filled Thor's entire body. He managed to squeeze out the word, "W-who?" though he had a feeling he knew quite well the answer already.

Odin smiled, and said, "Oh, I think you know well who it is."

"But…why have you kept him here, if you loathe him so much?"

"Have I not told you, Thor," said Odin with a little impatience, "that it is only I, now you also, who knows of this secret? If I suddenly banished him from the palace would it not seem strange and scandalous to our nation?"

"Then what of your plans for alliance with the Frost Giants? Isn't our friendship exactly what you wanted?"

"I have long since abandoned any hope of such events. Loki is not someone who I want influencing you, my only son. His secretive, laconic ways are suspicious, frightening, untrustworthy - "

"Don't talk about him like that!" cried Thor suddenly, a surge of resentment coursing through him like a bolt of lightning. "He is not what you say! Has all these years of him living as your son meant absolutely nothing to y -"

"But he is _not_ my son!" shouted Odin with equal, if not more, power. "_You_ are, however, and you _will_ obey your father's wishes." A note of absolute finality filled his last words, and its intensity prevented Thor from arguing further. Fuming, but helpless, Thor gave a curt nod before stomping out of his father's room.

Unbelievable.

Thor cursed. _Unbelievable. _How could his father, the most reasonable man he knew, the man he had always idolized, think in such a blasted way? Loki was kind, gentle and just a very shy person who simply had different interests than Asgardians, which was now perfectly understandable to Thor after discovering Loki's true heritage. And funnily enough, this new information about Loki being a Frost Giant - and the son of the Frost Giants' king to boot - didn't discourage or disgust Thor. In fact, it served only to increase his interest and love for him: in addition to being intelligent, beautiful and vulnerable, Loki was also exotic.

With a heavy heart, not used to being plagued by troubles, Thor stomped down the hallways, immersed in angry thoughts, towards the library to seek Loki, wanting to see his forbidden love's face, which might calm him down. As he approached Loki's study room, he heard Sigyn's voice conversing with Loki's. He was about to stomp in and ruin the party before he heard his name being mentioned. He stopped to listen.

"…ther harsh antagonism between you and Thor. Can you enlighten me?" It was Loki's voice.

Thor peered through a small crack in the door, and suddenly caught Sigyn's eye right when she had glanced at the door. Quickly, he pulled away, but it was too late, because he knew that his presence was now known. He only hoped that she wouldn't give him away and take away Loki's hard-gotten trust in him.

To his relief, she didn't. "What do you think of Thor?" she said.

Thor listened carefully: he wanted to know the answer as well.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, what do you consider Thor as?"

"If I think I understand your question," said Loki hesitantly, "I'd say that I would consider him…a friend."

A dull feeling of disappointment drizzled onto his head. Although he had expected the answer, he couldn't help feeling saddened that "friend" was all he was to Loki.

"Why did you pause?" came Sigyn's voice.

"Well, actually…" Loki's voice was quiet. "In truth, though Thor seems to consider me a good friend of his, I think I see him as more of an acquaintance."

What?

His place in Loki's heart was really only "acquaintance"?

"Really?" Sigyn's voice was mocking and smug to Thor's ears.

He couldn't listen any longer. It was too much to bear. He had never known such sadness and frustration like the one that was now piercing his heart, and he didn't care that in his haste to escape, Thor had tripped and made a noise which in all certainty would have tipped Loki off of his presence.


	8. Ch 6: A Cruel, Cold Banishment

**Enjoy :) and thank you for having followed this far. We're hitting the climax...  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Loki<strong>

In the library, outside his private study room, once again surrounded by books, Loki sat reading a dusty tome about Jotunheim in its ancient glory days. The high shelves loomed about him like protective guardians while he tried to immerse himself into the wondrous world that lurked just beneath the curled ink and the yellowed parchment.

But try as he might, Loki could not focus.

Inability to study was virtually a myth to a rigorous academic like Loki, so seldom did it occur. Whenever he had a problem, Loki easily leaped into his books and forgot about it, but the problem this time could not be escaped from, no matter where he tried to run. It seemed like a small problem, a trivial matter, but it stuck to Loki's mind like a wart. It festered and sputtered like a spoiled brat that cried harder the more one tried to ignore it, and finally, it wailed to a point where Loki threw his book down in frustration and just sat there trying to figure out how to solve it.

The problem was that the conversation he had yesterday with Sigyn about Thor would not leave his mind.

He had a bad feeling about it. Though Sigyn seemed fine with the answer he had given, Loki was not; for some odd reason he felt extremely dissatisfied with it. Even after she had left, he had continued revising his answer - but no matter how much he had changed his answer, none of the possible ones he had come up with was satisfactory. He knew it was just a mental thing, but he felt that he would not be happy until he found the right answer.

It was not that the answer he had given was not true. It _was _true…but only by a fraction. Loki felt that he had missed something, something crucial in his answer, but what was it? Yes, to Loki, Thor's position fluctuated between friend and acquaintance; yes, his reluctance to give Thor full entrance to his world pushed his brother back more often towards "acquaintance" than "friend"; but there was something else, something that could potentially render the answer he had given Sigyn completely untrue.

What _was_ it?

So immersed was he in this particular issue that he did not hear Thor come into the library towards him. Only when Thor had sat down next to him did he notice him. The surprise was so sudden - amplified by the fact that he was the very subject that had preoccupied Loki's mind just moments before - that Loki would have fallen flat on his face had Thor not caught him.

"You all right, Loki?" asked Thor, holding onto Loki's chest and shoulder as though he might fall again.

The places where Thor touched him felt warm and pleasant, and Loki was suddenly embarrassed for no apparent reason. He quickly brushed the hands away and said, "Yes yes, I'm fine."

Thor looked at his hands which Loki had so brusquely brushed away, and for a long time he stared at them. His brother looked quite grim - almost a little sad. Loki was surprised, for Thor being sad was a sure sign that some sort of Ragnorak was about to occur. Loki did not want to ask; he was too proud to show that he cared anything for Thor, but Thor remained meek and silent for so long that Loki became seriously alarmed.

"Thor?" he asked tentatively.

Thor rubbed his eyes and then looked at him, his blue eyes quite intense. "What is Sigyn to you?" he asked abruptly.

"Sigyn?"

"Yes."

"Well…" he said, surprised at the suddenness of the subject. "She's a friend."

"Just a friend?"

"Yes. What do you mean?" He was confused by Thor's aggressive tone.

"Then what am I to you?" asked Thor, ignoring Loki's question.

Loki looked at him for a moment, then turned away, struggling to quell a very strange emotion that had suddenly bubbled up within him by those particular words. "You're a friend as well…I suppose."

"You _suppose_?" Thor seemed angry.

"Well, yes I do _suppose_," said Loki, catching Thor's anger, feeling that Thor was being unreasonable here. "You can't deny that our 'friendship' isn't exactly natural, which is a crucial characteristic of 'true' friendship."

"That's not what I heard you tell Sigyn yesterday," returned Thor.

"What?" Now Loki felt really angry. "You were _eavesdropping_?"

"I heard my name! I have every right to hear about what concerns me!"

"_My_ conversations are none of _your_ business!"

For a moment, there was a tense silence. Then -

"Fine. But I don't want to see you with Sigyn anymore."

That made Loki furious. "_Who _are _you _to tell me who I can or cannot be with?"

"You-!" Thor flung his fists in a fit of vexation, and in doing so, hit one of the shelves that stood behind him. Whether he had done it deliberately or accidentally, it did not matter, for Loki was flooded with a furious sea of irrational rage when the shelf broke and toppled against the one next to it, and the one next to that, and the one next to that and so on. Hundreds of precious, ancient texts flew off and fell to their dooms.

"How _dare _you!" shouted Loki. Without even considering the consequences, he drew upon his knowledge of battle magic and fired a ball of electric energy at Thor's chest.

Unfortunately Thor ducked, and it hit another shelf on the other side of the room, and that one toppled and began to lay waste to its adjacent shelves as well.

Instead of subduing his anger, perceiving that his own mistake was equal in destruction to his less intelligent brother's poured additional fuel onto his rage. His irrationality grew out of control as he began to fire more spells at his brother, who was shouting - though Loki was so angry he did not hear a single word - and barely dodging the balls of energy.

He hit, fired, cursed and shouted out his sudden explosion of fury. When Loki thought about it later, it was probably the sum of all the ill-feelings towards Thor he had been suppressing during the weeks when they were "friends". Loki took no notice of the destruction and the ruckus he was causing, only bent on injuring Thor. Even care for the library and its precious books fled his mind when he thought about the injustices Thor had done him. Loki was furious about the embarrassments Thor had flippantly forced him into. Angry about the wounds he had done to his pride. Resentful about the ease with which Thor won over their father. And most especially, Loki was irritated about the ineffable confusion his mind would recently be thrown into whenever Thor was around.

Until -

"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?" A deep, resonating voice suddenly thundered into the all but destroyed library. The familiarity of the voice and its power jerked the young god out of his sudden madness, and Loki saw for the first time what a ruined battlefield the library had turned into: blackened parchment, ashes and wooden debris littered the floor, leather was strewn like bits of torn skin, while the once gorgeous shelves and furniture now lay pitifully cracked and dying on the charred floor.

But it was the owner of that thunderous voice that frightened Loki the most.

Odin appeared in the entrance to the library, looking absolutely livid. The air around him physically cracked with the energy of his fury, and his two sons looked on with absolute terror. Even as gods, the two cowered a little in the presence of someone so infinitely more omnipotent than they, their dispute just moments before completely forgotten. Loki could not help notice, however, that though both of them were frightened, it was only him whom Odin was glaring at.

_Well,_ thought Loki resignedly. He was not exactly surprised; Loki always received the majority of the blame of any problems that involved him.

"I have patiently raised you, and destruction is the reward I receive?" seethed Odin.

Loki bowed his head in shame, cursing himself for not having had more control before the fight.

"Loki, you are good for nothin-"

"No, Father!" cried Thor suddenly in anger. Both gods looked at him in surprise: Loki, because his brother had never defended him; Odin, because he had never been contradicted or interrupted in his entire immortal life thus far. "It was _not_ Loki's fault! I was the one who had begun it, it was _I _who -"

"Silence, Thor!" Odin's face had turned a deep shade of maroon, and its expression, so dark it was with fury, might have killed his two sons were they not gods. "I will _not_ be contradicted by my _son_!"

Loki noticed the singular use of the word, but let it pass.

"And what are you doing here with him?" Odin continued at Thor, turning darker still, his anger rising. "Have we not agreed, Thor, that Loki is _bad company_ for you, my precious son?"

"Wha…?" A small query escaped from Loki without his control. What his father had just said was…hurtful…. He glanced at Thor, hoping to see that it was a lie, but caught the latter's sorrowful eyes which all but confirmed Odin's words. But Thor had said he wanted to be friends with him. Was it, then, all a lie…?

"But am I not your son as well?" asked Loki softly.

Odin looked at him. For a split second Loki thought he saw a flash of pity, but it passed so quickly he concluded that it must have been a trick of his wretched imagination.

"No, Loki, you are not." Then Odin coldly explained Loki's true ancestry and how he came to be as a prince of Asgard.

It was as if a vortex had sucked away his breath and drained all his blood. Loki could not think, move, feel; only his eyes and ears continued to work, continuing to gather information that placed Loki further into the virtual limbo in which he was now stuck. His mind temporarily stopped working for fear of an emotional overload. Even after Odin had finished, and the information had sunk like stones into his psyche, Loki remained still, both physically and emotionally.

"And now," continued Odin glacially, "I shall do as I should have done many years ago, and dismiss you from Asgard."

The final stone dropped. Loki's mind was so laden with such grievous information it became a tangible burden and he felt his knees buckle.

"Why…?" he whispered. It was a miracle he even managed to move his mouth.

The air around them darkened. "I have raised you, given you food, freedom, knowledge and a place for you to call home, hoping that one day, you would do what I had longed for during the war against Jotunheim. I gave you time, yet all I saw was you turning darker and stranger, with no care for the world but your books. You have not fulfilled your duty; you are a liability to my court. Now you even dare to lead my only son astray!" His voice had begun small, but it had grown progressively louder until it now reached a shout.

"Father, please! No!" Thor, who had been sullen and quiet all this time, suddenly came forward with a stricken expression.

"Silence, Thor!" Odin shouted, and flicked his hand. Thor halted in his steps and looked suddenly subdued.

Then Odin turned to Loki again, and spoke a few final words to Loki which rang in the latter's ears like a death bell. "Loki Laufeyson, you are henceforth banished from Asgard." A majestic gold staff materialized in his hand which he slammed onto the floor. Blue light cracked from it towards where Loki was standing, swirling like snakes and wrapped him within it, immobilizing his movements and dimming his sight as it began transporting him to wherever Odin had in mind for him.

The last thing he saw before the blue completely engulfed him was Thor looking back at him with a blank, apathetic expression.

* * *

><p><strong>Thor<strong>

Thor walked around the hallways without aim, completely absorbed in his own mind. He walked with a heavy drag of his feet, the kind of gait typical to those whose heart has been pierced with the needles of misfortune. Any onlooker would have rightly guessed that Thor, being one who did not hide emotions, was absolutely miserable.

Everything seemed to oppose his desire for friendship with Loki. First, it was Sigyn. Then, it was Odin. Now, even Loki himself. How was he to fight all that?

No wait. Though he knew that Sigyn and Odin didn't like his closeness with Loki, Thor wasn't completely sure if _Loki_ opposed their friendship. Perhaps he'll go to the library right now and find out himself. Thor wanted to see Loki's face anyways.

He was surprised to see Loki not in his study room, not holding a book, but sitting on the floor like a dazed little child staring into space with a confused expression, as if there were fairies dancing in front of him. Quietly, so as not to disturb, Thor sat down next to him. He accidentally brushed Loki on the shoulder in doing so, and Loki, seeing Thor for the first time, lurched forward in surprise - yes, that's a bit odd for a reflexive action - but he caught him just in time before Loki hurt himself.

"You all right, Loki?" he asked, concerned, holding on because he looked so delicate and confused.

Loki suddenly reddened and flung his hands away with a little more force than Thor thought was necessary to remove them. "Yes yes, I'm fine," he muttered angrily.

Thor wasn't usually distracted by people's gestures to him - he didn't care so much for other's opinions of himself, but for some reason today he was especially sensitive to Loki's, and the brusqueness, force and animosity with which Loki had just flung away his hands made a painful mark on his already bruised heart. For a long time he waited for the pain to fade away, and he stared at his hands which still felt the echo of Loki's push.

His silence must have bothered Loki, for he heard the soft tenor voice ask, "Thor?"

The voice pulled him out of his temporary daze, while suddenly filling him with a driving desire to know what Loki truly thought of him. "What is Sigyn to you?" he asked. He didn't care how abrupt he sounded.

"Sigyn?" Loki was plainly surprised.

"Yes."

"Well…she's a friend."

"Just a friend?" Thor raised his eyebrows; he couldn't help showing his skepticism.

"Yes. What do you mean?" Loki hadn't a clue why Thor would be skeptical.

"Then what am _I_ to you?"

Loki looked at him for a moment, then looked away, seeming oddly uncomfortable at the question. "You're a friend as well…I suppose."

"You _suppose_?" A short, yet acute, flare of anger spiked within Thor.

"Well, yes I do_ suppose_," said Loki, his tone suddenly brusque. "You can't deny that our 'friendship' isn't exactly natural, which is a crucial characteristic of 'true' friendship."

That hit a spot. Was Loki implying that he didn't like, and therefore opposed, their friendship? And also - "That's not what I heard you tell Sigyn yesterday," returned Thor.

"What?" Loki looked scandalized. "You were _eavesdropping_?"

"I heard my name! I have every right to hear about what concerns me!"

"_My_ conversations are none of _your_ business!"

Thor bit his lips; Loki had a point. But there was one thing he still wanted to settle. "Fine. But I don't want to see you with Sigyn anymore."

Loki looked shocked. "_Who_ are _you_ to tell me who I can or cannot be with?"

"You-!" This had taken a turn for the worst. He had come only to seek some answers, but it had evolved into a hot dispute, which would inevitably turn into a full-scale fight. Thor was angry and exasperated. He was mad that Loki, for an intellectual genius, was surprisingly thick when it came to things like feelings and love. He was also seriously pissed at himself for not having advanced their friendship more quickly. The gestures, the conversations, the attention he had so caringly and passionately given to Loki didn't seem to have produced even one measly strand of genuine good feelings between them. Allowing his fury to translate into actions, Thor threw up his hands.

Unfortunately he flung them too hard and too far and they crashed into the shelf behind him. He winced as it crashed and banged to the floor and to surrounding shelves, and within minutes every shelf and book closest to them was pitifully broken on the floor.

All feelings of anger and frustration fled Thor and were replaced by regret and dread. Nothing was more important to Loki than books and this library. Having blemished his favourite sanctuary would no doubt bring Thor animosity and destroy any good bond they had ever had.

Thor turned to Loki who, to his horror, had already contorted his expression into one of blind fury and created a ball of dangerous-looking blue lights in his hands, which he threw mercilessly at Thor's head. Thor had good reflexes, and ducked in time. Then he realized that he shouldn't have done that, because it brought further destruction to the library and increased Loki's anger.

Ball after sizzling ball of energy Thor had to duck, and all the while he shouted placations and propitiations to reason and mollify his mad brother, whose anger he had never seen so out of control before. The library was coming to pieces. They were making a hell of a ruckus, and Thor feared, more than for his life, the coming of his father, who just might use this situation as an excuse to ban -

"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?"

Too late.

Loki was a goner, Thor thought fearfully. Odin looked insane with fury. There was no way Thor could get him out of this one, and Thor had a feeling that, having seen how much Odin wished to rid Loki from his court, might relish using this chaos as an excuse to punish Loki harshly. Thor didn't care at all about how much punishment he himself would get; all he could think about was how he much he could shield Loki from Odin's wrath.

He glanced at Loki. Loki was paler than usual with shock and regret, his creamy white skin chalky, his sparkling emerald eyes wide, his tea rose lips slightly parted, from mind-blowing fear. A sensation of extreme protectiveness suddenly overwhelmed Thor, seeing Loki so weak and disarmed from the mere presence of the almighty Odin.

"I have patiently raised you, and destruction is the reward I receive?" Odin growled at Loki.

Loki quivered, and dipped his head.

"Loki, you are good for nothin-"

"No, Father!" cried Thor suddenly in anger. Odin had to be stopped; he was much too biased to make a fair judgment - he was unreasonable. "It wasn't Loki's fault! I was the one who had begun it, it was I who -"

"Silence, Thor! I will not be contradicted by my son!" Odin turned purple.

Thor shut up.

"And what are you doing here with him? Have we not agreed, Thor, that Loki is _bad company_ for you, my precious son?" His father thundered.

Thor felt his blood drain from his face. Loki knew it, now, knew that his father disliked him and would be pleased to disown him, and that Thor had kept that fact hidden from him. He felt Loki's wide eyes dart to his face, but Thor dared not look back, afraid to see the hurt on Loki's face.

"But am I not your son as well?" came Loki's cracked, soft voice. Thor all but broke down from stress.

"No, Loki, you are not." Odin then proceeded to explain Loki's true history.

It astonished and sickened Thor how cold and merciless Odin could be. Couldn't he see Loki's fear, his poor terror? Didn't he feel any inkling of affection for someone who lived quietly as his son for the past few centuries? Wouldn't he spare any mercy at all? Why was he so cold? Thor wished that he could go to Loki's side and comfort him, but Odin would never allow it, and Loki might not want it from him.

Then Odin announced, with obvious disdain, that Loki was to be banished from their kingdom.

"Father, please! No!" He cried. The resentment, dread and horror he had been repressing all came bursting out like juice from a squeezed grape; he was terrified of the separation, now that he had finally realized his true feelings for Loki, and he desperately wished that he hadn't talked to Loki in the first place.

"Silence, Thor!"

With a flick of his hand, Odin stupefied Thor. In an instance, all of Thor's body stopped in its function, except for his mind, which helplessly peered out of his eyes which served like the slits of space between bars in a cage. Odin had cast some sort of binding spell on his body, and Thor could do nothing now but watch motionlessly.

He was helpless - no, useless - as he watched Loki disappear in a burst of blue light, an expression of pure terror and hurt staining the beautiful face.


	9. Ch 7: Despair and Hope

**Loki**

Ragged, forlorn cliffs towered about him, blue and grey, upon a cold, barren desert. A permanent layer of mist covered the surface of the land, giving the place a perpetual atmosphere of darkness and sadness, as though it had experienced much loss, degradation and betrayal and no longer welcomed life. Everything seemed cold and dead. Numb and pained.

Loki felt much the same.

He had opened his eyes to this dismal place, and knew with a flood of pain what his father - no, Odin - did to him. It was a cruel jest, to send him to his birthplace, Jotunheim. Like he was reminding Loki that he would never be worthy of society in Asgard, the nation that was the perpetual nemesis of the Frost Giants, of which he was one, and an unwanted one.

There was nowhere he could go. His biological father had abandoned him because of his size, and his adoptive father had banished him because of his origins. Loki was alone now, truly alone, and he had never known such wretchedness. It was not pain; it was much, much worse. Before, even though he had sought solitude, he had still been amongst society and held bonds with certain individuals. Now, everything was severed. The wound in his psyche was a gaping hole, a silent agony, draining all resolves, and it was an emptiness that could not be filled.

_Wounds can be healed with time_, he thought, _but not this one._

Loki was immediately seized by images of Thor's face, and the hole cracked and enlarged a bit more. A powerful emotion flooded his mind, and it washed the memories of Thor in a bright, warm light. Oh, he now knew, he now realized!

He _missed _Thor.

He missed everything about Thor. He missed Thor's annoying, yet cheering, little chatters that brought Loki out of the murk of depression he always fell in. He missed Thor's warm, careless, cheerful face, golden with innocence and power, his fair hair always in an endearing mess because he cared nothing for vanity, his deep blue eyes always so clear that they pierced past any guises and saw one's true nature. He missed Thor's gentle caresses, which always brought a not unpleasant flush to his cheeks. He missed Thor's very presence.

He _loved_ Thor.

And he never realized all this, until now, when it was too late.

But before a wave of regret hit him, Loki also recalled how Thor had treated him before he was banished. Was Thor in a conspiracy with his father? Had Thor befriended Loki just so he could create a moment for his father to use to banish him? Loki recalled that, when Odin had thundered those final, ringing words, Thor had just stood there with an apathy on his face that seemed to imply a complete lack of care for a person who had unwittingly fallen for his charms.

Loki had unconsciously begun to regard Thor as an important person in his life. The hole in his mind, Loki realized, was the place Thor had occupied. The only reason he knew this was that the memories and images of Thor refused to leave him in peace, reminding him how much he had taken Thor's company for granted, how much he missed him, how much Thor had influenced him, how much Thor had _distracted _him -

Wait.

'Distracted'?

Thor had used the exact same word…when he had spoken about Sigyn.

Suddenly, all the moments around Sigyn and Thor came flashed into Loki's mind: Thor had been angry whenever he found Loki with her; he had asked Loki so fervently not to be with her; he had wanted to know what Loki thought of her. Since Thor was a distraction to Loki, who finally realized that he loved him, perhaps Sigyn was a distraction to Thor, because he loved her?

_Thor betrayed me without qualm. I was with his beloved girl, and therefore it is obvious why he would side with his father to banish me. He loves Sigyn…he does not care for me_, concluded Loki, _at all._

_ He hates me._

For the first time since he could remember, Loki began to cry.

* * *

><p><strong>Thor<strong>

"Bring him back. Please," Thor had pleaded when Odin had finally released him from the binding spell.

"I cannot," Odin had answered. "And even if I desired such a thing, the magic behind the banishment cannot be broken before the end of a hundred years since its creation, not even by me."

Thor kicked a chair in anguish. It had already been two days, now, since the banishment, and he spent nearly every minute of it pouring over what remained of the books in the library, desperately trying to find a loophole in Odin's spell. So far, he had come up with none. Thor feared that every minute lost equaled another mile in the ever-widening gap between Loki and himself. He feared that their bond, if any bit of it remained, might be disintegrating to the point of no return. What if, when Loki returned, they could never be friends again, let alone attempt to become more than that? What if Loki didn't want to come back? What if Loki had begun to hate him…?

Thor was appalled.

No. No, that couldn't happen. He wouldn't let it happen.

Thor closed the book he was holding, and stood up, bursting with determination. If he couldn't return Loki to Asgard, then he would go to Loki in Jotunheim, and nothing was going to stop him, not even Odin himself.

Thor strolled to the Bifrost casually, preventing suspicion. Heimdall was there, taciturn and silent as ever, holding his position as the watcher of the skies with intimidating power.

"Heimdall," addressed Thor. "Send me to where Loki is."

With unblinking, scrutinizing eyes that seemed to strip one to the raw soul, the guardian of the Bifrost turned to stare at Thor. For such a while did he hold the gaze, and so silently as well, that Thor almost thought he wasn't going to answer his request. But finally, he did speak. "I shall send you there. But what of your father?"

Thor couldn't help it; his face darkened in anger. "He doesn't understand Loki. His desire for ideal sons has blinded him from Loki's true nature."

Heimdall raised his eyebrows, which was probably the most expression he had ever done in centuries, and probably the most expression he will ever do.

"Very well."

With a mysterious turning and thudding of his golden staff, a portal opened up before Thor and a white beam of dazzling light swallowed him whole.


	10. Ch 8: Reconciliation

**Loki**

For two days, Loki had haunted the ruined landscape of Jotunheim, powerless against the sadness that was eating his heart away. He did not know how long he would remain so and did not expect any change, let alone anyone to come looking for him. So he was surprised to hear footsteps on the third day of his banishment.

By now, he was completely, utterly, tired from crying, and had grown numb and senseless of the pain that was still filling up his soul; his longing for Thor hadn't faded - in truth, it had only become worse, because Loki reasoned that it must be impossible now to become friends with Thor, let alone more than that. He did not care what had come for him, be it a Frost Giant to kill him, a Jotun monster to eat him or an Asgardian sent by Odin to finish him off. There was nothing to live for, now that he had no home, so Loki simply stood there, his back to the approaching being, waiting passively for the blow that would send him to a peaceful oblivion. He closed his eyes.

A blow did come. But it was not physical; it came in the form of a voice, a voice he knew so painfully well and had come to love so dearly it nearly stopped his heart when he heard it.

"Loki?"

He turned around, afraid to believe who he thought it might be. But there he was, haggard and tired-looking: Thor. Being much taller than Loki, the prince of Asgard towered over him with a powerful and intimidating aura, so handsome it made Loki miss and yearn for him even stronger than he had the past two days. Those strong hands. Those firm cheeks. Those sparkling blue eyes. Come, probably, to finish Loki off.

That…was too cruel.

A fresh flood of tears threatened to burst through his eyes. Loki scrunched up his face to prevent them from falling and, breathing harshly, he said quietly, "I'm ready. Go on, kill me."

Thor looked shocked. "What are you saying, Loki? I've come to bring you back. Or at least stay here with you until Odin decides to lift the banishment. Come, Loki. What do you say?" He stretched out a palm, his face ostensibly kind.

_What?_

Loki stared at it, wishing to believe but refusing to believe. What if this was another trick? Another charm to beguile him into Thor's open arms, where his trust will make him most vulnerable and offer Thor the opportunity to kill him?

"What's the matter, Loki?" asked Thor, his face apparently concerned. "Come, I won't hurt you. You know I would never do that. Let's be friends once more. I'll talk to father to take the banishment spell away, and you can live in Asgard again - "

Suddenly, a ragged sob erupted from Loki's throat. Thor's gentle deep voice, so apparently innocent and trustworthy, drover such painful wedges into his heart. It reminded Loki of all the sweet memories they had shared together and of the ultimate betrayal Thor had inflicted upon him, until the remembrance was too much for him to bear.

"Loki?" Thor smiled gently, reaching out further. "It's all right now, Loki, we can - "

_"No!" _

He cried suddenly and lurched away, his limit finally reached. He would not trust Thor again. He promised himself that he would not. He had hurt enough. Now he truly began to cry, tears streaming down his face, unable to retain them any longer, and no longer caring anyhow. "No! Why are you truly here? Why? Haven't you played enough with my feelings?"

Thor looked devastated. "Loki! Why are you crying so? Please stop. I have no reason to hurt you, I -"

"Don't lie! Damn it all, but don't lie!"

"Loki," whispered Thor, looking horrified, "what is the matter?"

He sobbed. It was so embarrassing, but his emotions had way exceeded his limits. "Why are you truly here?" he blubbered.

"To take you back, Loki. I want you back -"

"And why should you care for me? Don't you hate me? Don't you wish me dead?" he demanded.

Thor blanched in apparent shock. "And why should I hate you?"

"Because…because you love Sigyn! And I was taking her away from you, though unknowingly!"

A long silence stretched between them, interrupted only by occasional hiccups that spurted from Loki, the kind that comes after crying too much. They stared at each other, willing the other to break it. The tension in the air was a palpable substance, increasing the longer they stared, until it suddenly disappeared into thin air when Thor began to _laugh_. It was a light-hearted chuckle, full of mirth, without meanness of any kind.

Anguish temporarily fled Loki, and he asked, baffled, "What is it?"

"What makes you think I like Sigyn? At all?" Thor answered a query with a query, still smiling gently.

"Because you were always angry whenever I spent time with her," he answered uncertainly, still not seeing the answer. "You implied often that you wished that I stop being friends with her. And you also said yourself that she distracted you…"

"Ah," mused Thor. "No, Loki. Did I ever say she distracted _me_?"

Loki thought for a while. No, indeed he had not. "You just said that she…distracts…"

"Yes I did. What I meant was I didn't like that she distracted _you_, Loki. You spent so much time with her, instead of with me. It seemed to me that you liked her more, and I was…was…very jealous. Yes," he muttered, suddenly blushing. "I was. A-and I have seen you give her looks and smiles such as…such as you have never given me."

Any trace of resentment, sadness and anger fell away from Loki's current medley of emotions, and he saw something very warm and bright rising from the horizon of his mind. He was afraid to run towards it, however, in case it was fake, and so he asked, just to make sure, "What do you mean to say?" He could not stop his voice from quivering.

Thor did not answer immediately. His face strangely expressed, his eyes blazing, he walked towards Loki slowly with determined steps, and Loki stood his ground, completely clueless about what was to come. He felt that something between them was falling away. When Thor finally stopped before him - leaving only a couple of centimeters of space between their faces - he lifted his hand and touched Loki's cheek. The touch was surprisingly gentle for someone so large and muscular as Thor. The hand, very warm, softly stroked his cheek according to the contours of his bones, and as Loki unconsciously leaned into the caress, Thor whispered, still holding their gaze -

"I love you."

If Loki wanted to prove that Thor was lying, he could not. There was too much authenticity in those three sounds, full of genuine emotions of desire, pain, joy and longing. Just the way Thor had voiced those three, sweet words were enough to convey to Loki that they were undoubtedly true.

Before he could say or do anything to answer, a sudden shudder ran through the ground beneath their feet, and before they knew it ragged rocks and boulders of all sizes began raining down upon them like a storm. It seemed that the cliff closest to them had begun to disintegrate, and if they were to stay there for any moment longer they would be crushed to death. Seizing Loki by the waist, Thor began to run. Barely dodging rocks here and there, they ran for a clearing they sighted on the other side of a ravine, which they reached sooner than they thought.

"Whoa!" shouted Thor, holding Loki back.

Loki saw Thor's eyes dart here and there as he conjured up a plan. It took only a few seconds, and Thor shouted over the din of the falling rocks, "I'll jump first. You jump after, and I'll be there on the other side to catch you."

"What!" cried Loki, horrified. "I can't jump so far!"

"Yes you can!" Thor shouted back. Then, without waiting for further arguments, he jumped, and like a bird taking flight easily soared into the air and landed lightly on his two feet on the other side, with a few feet from the edges to spare.

"Come on!" shouted Thor, beckoning violently with his hands. The rocks fell relentlessly around Loki's head.

_Here goes nothing, _thought Loki.

Then he jumped, as hard as he could.

Large, steady arms were there to receive him, which latched onto his waist in firm grip. They remained like that, for several moments, when Loki waited for his rapid heartbeat to subside. When it did subside, however, Thor still did not let go.

"Thor?" he said uncomfortably. His cheeks were pressed into Thor's muscular neck, and his arms were stuck to his sides, jailed by Thor's hug. "You can let go now."

Thor loosened his grip, but not enough to free Loki. Annoyed, Loki looked up, and blushed with a startle how close Thor had moved his face. Loki's heart began to thud faster and faster as Thor, the blue in his eyes scintillating feverishly, leaned forwards with his pale lips slightly parted, and blushed even harder as he realized that Thor might be able to feel Loki's excited heart. When they were so close that contact was just a hair's breadth away, a dark shape suddenly caught his eyes as it moved, a few metres beyond Thor's shoulder. It heaved like it was panting, and looked like a carnivorous beast.

The tension in the moment suddenly forgotten, Loki pushed Thor around to point the creature out to him. He could not help notice the reluctance in those hands when they slipped off his waist.

But every drop of warmth he had been experiencing was replaced by a surge of fear, when the both of them saw that the beast that Loki had seen was an enormous Frost Giant coming their way, a murderously hungry intent blazing in its crimson eyeballs.

* * *

><p><strong>Thor<strong>

Jotunheim looked as sad as the rumours had said. Even for an innately bright and jolly god as he, Thor couldn't help shivering with fear amidst the intimidating cold cliffs that surrounded him like ominous beasts encircling a powerless prey. Not a single living creature could be seen, and Thor knew he must find Loki, and quickly. The heavy atmosphere in this world might be heavy enough to squash even an immortal god to a lonely death.

He came upon a thin, bent figure in the distance, and hope began rising up in his chest. It was unmistakable. The slenderness, the emerald attire, the lonely air that surrounded the figure - that was Loki!

Thor quickened his steps. The distance seemed to expand between them; it seemed so long, and he felt that he couldn't get there fast enough. Every step was a moment wasted, while the trust and affection that small delicate figure had of him might be ever diminishing.

At last, he was within a few feet away. The fragile creature had his vulnerable back to him, which made him appear more delicate and endearing than ever, and Thor had to restrain himself from gathering the figure into his arms. He didn't know if Loki knew of his presence; he hadn't moved. They stood there for quite a while, Thor wondering if Loki might want to make the first move himself. But at last, his patience wore out.

"Loki?" He called out tentatively.

At the sound, the creature turned around in a tense yet graceful whirl. Thor felt his breathing hitch. After nearly three days of not seeing Loki, the god looked more beautiful and desirable than ever before. Loki was a tad thinner and more slender, but there was a new weakness in his appearance that brought out an overwhelming sensation of protectiveness from Thor; the flesh around his emerald orbs were slightly pink and dark, as if he had been crying, which caused in Thor to feel an acute spurt of guilt; and his skin was paler and clearer than usual, like moonlight on still water. The young god was obviously ill, and Thor desperately wanted to nurse him back to a good health.

Then Thor saw an unexpected expression flit across Loki's gaunt face; it was brief, but it happened. The expression wasn't physically describable, but Thor knew he saw it: Loki was happy to see him. Then the expression disappeared as soon as it came.

The wide, emerald eyes had such a look of helpless resignation as they were trained on Thor that he seriously regretted not having come sooner. Loki suddenly began to breathe quite hard, and he said, in a ragged whisper, "I'm ready. Go on, kill me."

Thor was astounded. Loki must be dangerously sick, to think that his saviour was his executioner. "What are you saying, Loki?" he reasoned. "I've come to bring you back. Or at least stay here with you until Odin decides to lift the banishment. Come, Loki. What do you say?" He offered Loki a hand.

Loki stared at the hand and drew back a bit, as though afraid it were a trap. _What had Jotunheim done to him? _wondered Thor with more than a little concern.

"What's the matter, Loki?" he asked. "Come, I won't hurt you. You know I would never do that. Let's be friends once more. I'll talk to father to take the banishment spell away, and you can live in Asgard again - "

A soft sound of pain escaped from Loki's parted lips.

"Loki?" Thor tried to smile, to calm him, to reassure him. "It's all right now, Loki, we can - "

_"No!" _

The sudden cry was so full of anger, pain, resentment and sadness it was like everything had been dropped into a cold, bottomless sea; the contorted expression on Loki's face added weight onto the word. Tears began pouring out like rivers from the clear green orbs. "No! Why are you truly here? Why? Haven't you played enough with my feelings?"

Thor was devastated; the sight of his beloved crying wrenched his heart apart. And to think that it was _he _who caused it… "Loki! Why are you crying so? Please stop," he pleaded, "I have no reason to hurt you, I -"

"Don't lie! Damn it all, but don't lie!" Loki looked beside himself.

"Loki, what is the matter?" Thor was horrified that Loki's wits may never be recovered.

Loki continued sobbing as if his life depended on it. "Why are you truly here?"

"To take you back, Loki." Thor wanted him back. "I want you back -"

"And why should you care for me? Don't you hate me? Don't you wish me dead?"

Thor gaped; hating Loki was impossible, and he was agonized that Loki could think he was capable of doing so. "And why should I hate you?"

"Because…because you love Sigyn! And I was taking her away from you, though unknowingly!"

For a moment, all emotion took leave of Thor, and he was left a blankness that, he concluded, only the dead would know. What Loki had just suggested was such pure silliness that the surprise had bombed all emotion out of his mind, and Thor just stood there, waiting for whatever emotion to reform itself and tell him what to do. The first emotion that returned, not surprisingly, was humour. He was suddenly filled with a bright yellow light, and he began to chuckle.

The sobbing stopped as a look of pure, innocent confusion overtook Loki's delicate features. "What is it?"

"What makes you think I like Sigyn?" he laughed. "At all?"

"Because you were always angry whenever I spent time with her," Loki answered hesitantly, his brows furrowed, but thankfully, no longer crying. "You implied often that you wished that I stop being friends with her. And you also said yourself that she distracted you…"

"Ah," mused Thor. He understood now. "No, Loki. Did I ever say she distracted me?"

There was a slight pause as Loki pondered. "You just said that she…distracts…"

"Yes I did. What I meant was I didn't like that she distracted you, Loki. You spent so much time with her, instead of with me. It seemed to me that you liked her more, and I was…was…very jealous. Yes," Thor confirmed, seeing Loki's raise his eyes in surprise, flushing slightly at his own honesty. "I was. A-and I have seen you give her looks and smiles such as…such as you have never given me." Thor blushed, the alien sensation of warming cheeks shooting arrows of embarrassment into his heart, but he felt that Loki had to know if he were to clear up this silly misunderstanding.

Loki's small angular face and silken skin framed an exquisite innocence that seemed to cry out for protection. He looked so adorably vulnerable when his lips quivered to say, "What do you mean to say?"

_This is it,_ thought Thor. _I can finally tell him how I truly feel…what he really means to me. _Thor approached Loki slowly, so as not to seem aggressive and scare him away. When they were so close Thor could have kissed him, he breathed, "I love you."

Loki's eyes widened, but before the lips opened to answer, the ground shook and the sky began hailing rocks. Without thinking, he grabbed Loki by the waist - Loki was surprisingly light - and began sprinting towards a clearing he spotted a little way off, beyond a large ravine, the depths of which looked endless. With Loki in his arm, he reached it, and stopped to wonder how to pass it.

His mind whirled as it instinctively adopted a mode for survival, and his adrenaline fuelled brain judged the ravine narrow enough to jump over. But will Loki make it? _Yes he will, _thought Thor, _I'll be there to catch him._

He quickly shouted his plan to Loki over the crashing of the rocks, and ignoring Loki's weak protests, he jumped. It was much easier than he'd expected. After landing and turning around, he saw with erratic heartbeats the rocks falling near Loki's head, and beckoned impatiently for Loki to have some confidence and leap over. Loki looked absolutely terrified, but fortunately, he seemed to understand there was no other way, and jumped as well.

Opening his arms wide, he waited for Loki to fly in. When they collided there wasn't a bit of painful impact because Loki was so light. They were both breathing quite hard, and Thor gripped him in a tight embrace, never wanting to let this slight, fragile creature go, having nearly lost him once already. He buried his nose in the sleek, black hair and discovered with a pleasant start that Loki's scent resembled that of fresh earth and the juice of crumbled leaves. He exhaled again. It was quite soothing…

"Thor? You can let go now." Though the voice was muffled and breathed into his neck, it still jerked him out of his trance. The small voice sounded uneasy, so Thor loosened his grip so as not to hurt him, but he still didn't want to let go. Then their eyes met. The moisture in the emerald irises twinkled like stars at the peak of their lives, beckoning him into their mysterious depths; the smooth silken skin was sweet milk that he could drink; and those lips, oh those pale pink lips, were the edible petals of those pink flowers that left a refreshing taste at the back of one's tongue. He leaned towards those delicious features, his hunger awakened…

Loki blinked, and slipped away from his arms with a sudden jerk. He pointed at something in the distance behind Thor, looking slightly flustered.

He was a little irritated - no, _very _irritated, wondering what could be more interesting to Loki than himself. But when he saw the Frost Giant, five times larger than he, who was one of the largest Asgardians in the world, he froze. This was definitely more interesting than himself. In a very deadly way.


	11. Ch 9: Conflict with the Giant

"Do you have your hammer?"

"No. I'd left Asgard in a hurry. Do you have anything?"

"No."

"Let's run."

Together, Thor and Loki ran as fast as their exhausted bodies would possibly let them. The Giant bellowed a terrifying roar in irritation as he saw his meal escape, and with heavy yet surprisingly agile steps he pounded towards the two, rapidly closing the distance. Thor was very tired; he had expended a lot of energy pursuing Loki and trying to return him to Asgard. A layer of weariness seemed to coat his movements. But Loki was not much better; he had spent two days with no food, little sleep and a melancholy, debilitating subject draining the strength of his mind, so he could neither use magic to attack the hungry Giant nor have enough physical power to outrun it.

Their only hope now was to find a place among the many crevasses and strewn rocks in the landscape in which to hide before the Jotun reached them.

It was hard. Little rocks and holes unexpectedly opened up before their feet, and more than once Loki tripped and Thor had to stop to help his dear, weak little adopted sibling up, which added to the Giant's possibility of getting his meal.

"Are you all right, Loki? Can you still - ?"

"Yes."

They kept running, and the Giant kept chasing, who came ever closer. They had to find a hiding place fast.

Then Loki spotted, drilled into an enormous nearby rock, a cave of which was large enough to shelter both Thor and himself, but was also small and deep enough to be safe from the reaches of the Giant's grubby paws. Quickly, quietly, he directed their path towards it. They scrambled like little frightened mice across the unfamiliar jagged landscape for their last hope, fearfully aware that the Giant was coming ever closer.

Unfortunately, they did not make it.

* * *

><p><strong>Loki<strong>

Being much more agile than Thor because of his size, Loki quickly climbed over the rocks and became slightly ahead of Thor, so the Asgardian temporarily slipped out of his peripheral view. He had enough trust in the physical ability of Thor to believe that the Giant will not get him.

But he was wrong.

Only a few seconds after Loki passed Thor, he heard a sudden thud and crash, which was immediately followed by a pain-filled grunt. He turned his head, and saw with a violent thud of his heart Thor curled beside a nasty grey boulder against which he was just flung, clutching a spluttering crimson wound on his side.

"No!"

All thought of escape aside, Loki scrambled over to him and embraced his golden head into his own arms and chest, becoming slightly panicked for their lives and nearly crying with anguish. How could this happen now? Just when they had finally opened up their hearts to one another…?

The Giant, bright enough to understand that he now had his prey cornered, stopped his menacing advance and stood there observing them with a malicious grin of ease and conceit, allowing them in his egotistic sense of mercy a few last moments together before they ended up a mash of flesh in his stomach. He flexed his fingers and jaw, as if physically preparing for a heavy meal. A meal of two Asgardian god princes, no less.

But Loki did not care about the stupid Jotun right now. Continuing to cradle Thor's sweating and groaning head, he implored desperately for Thor to stay conscious. The wound looked deep enough to be fatal, even to a god.

"Heavens, Thor, please stay with me," he choked, overwhelmed with regret that he had allowed himself to have gone ahead of Thor. "Stay with me, Thor…"

"L-Loki…Loki, it's all right…" Thor rasped, unsuccessfully to reassure. The blood seeped rapids of crimson rivers through the crooks of his fingers that covered the wound, and every droplet of blood that left his body meant one less droplet of life. Thor was turning paler by the minute, his usual golden complexion degrading to that of a cadaverous pallor, his usually bright blue eyes gaining a coat of dullness as they stared at Loki, and his breathing was hitching and painfully irregular, as though his lungs were punctured. It devastated Loki to see his dear adoptive brother reduced to such a weak state. It hurt him even more to realize how weak and incapable he himself was of protecting others.

Without his permission, tears began streaming out of his eyes. He was so, so furious with himself for letting this happen, and for not being stronger. "I'm so sorry, Thor," he whispered through his blurred vision, and softly rubbed Thor's pale cheeks, as if he could rub some colour into them.

"Loki…go…please save yourself…"

"What are you saying?" replied Loki angrily, desperately. "I can't - _won't_ - leave you here!"

"Stop, Loki…just go…" His voice was getting fainter.

The Giant leered, his grotesque grin becoming wider as he stepped closer towards his meal, searching for the moment when separating the two will hurt them most.

"No, I'm not going anywhere," he wept, "I'm so sorry for all the pain I've caused you. Just stay with me, Thor, just stay with me, don't - stay awake! - don't go, don - " Loki did not care any longer about their situation, his banishment, the Frost Giant - he just wanted Thor to stay alive.

Suddenly, the ground shook. Loki looked up and saw that the Jotun had stepped closer, and with its huge ugly form even uglier with proximity, was slowly raising his blue-grey claw with intent to fling Loki away from Thor. He wanted the weaker one first.

"No! Stay away!" Loki cried, moving in front of Thor to shield the latter from the ugly brute.

"…Loki! No!"

The paw had reached as high as it would go, and was now speeding towards him. Loki was determined not to move from his spot, despite Thor's rasping protests and weak pushes, so anxious he was to be able to protect the person who had always tried to protect him. As the paw drew closer, he closed his eyes.

The force was incredible. In the moment before the pain came, he was flung so far into the air that he felt as weightless as if he had been swimming in space. The breath was knocked out of his lungs, his eyes saw stars that were not a part of the sky, and his ears could only hear the rushing of his blood. When he landed, thankfully on a patch of smooth ground not studded with jagged rocks, heavily on his back, his wits temporarily abandoned their duties. For a while he was totally indifferent to his surroundings. When gradually his wits returned, he saw with a resigned horror the Jotun stomping towards him, malicious grin in place which showed a row of blackened crooked teeth, coming to finish him off. As much as he wished he could fight, Loki knew he was now altogether too weak to perhaps even walk. Helplessly, he watched the ugly Frost Giant raise his claws. Loki closed his eyes again.

_Thor, I'm so sorry. _

He wished hard that he could have told Thor how he truly felt about him before all this happened. He wished desperately that he had been better to him. He wished so much that it hurt. But wishing is a useless mental activity, and he waited for the blow that would end his miserable life.

The blow did not come. Instead -

* * *

><p><strong>Thor<strong>

Exhaustion weighed his limbs down like never before. As he scrambled over the rocks with Loki, he was, for the first time in his life, plagued with the fear of being caught, a fear he had never had to deal with, since he almost always had perfect physical condition. But the recent situations and encounters with Loki had knocked some humility into his stubborn head and drained a major part of his large reserve of energy. He realized that it was very probable he was not going to make the cave.

Considering his weak chances of escaping the monster, he deliberately allowed Loki to overpass him, letting himself to be the closest prey, to protect his beloved from danger. He had seen the Frost Giant raise he paws for a strike, and he had to make sure it was not Loki who would become injured. Besides, he was an abnormally fast healer and was sure that he might survive an encounter with a Jotunn. But he was sure Loki wouldn't.

His plan worked. With very little time to brace himself, an enormous blue, scarred paw amassed with colossal energy hit the side of his body. If a human being were met with such force, the human being would be literally flattened into bloody pulp. The force was large enough to crush his armour and break deep into his skin, cracking his bones and damaging his organs, and Thor was flung equally hard into a jagged boulder nearby, further wounding him. Involuntarily he cried out in pain.

Then he heard Loki's fragile voice through the pain. "No!"

Damn.

Loki had turned around and seen his state.

_This is bad…I should have suppressed my cry. Loki could have made it to the cave. Now…now he will worry for me, _thought Thor with panic, which increased with his pain, _he will worry and come over, and become prey. But I must tell him that I heal very quickly…I can get out of this situation without his help…I'm healing even now…_

He could already feel his skin and muscles interlocking and smoothing over under his fingers, and the pain was fading away. He could already feel energy seeping back into his limbs. Thor was one of the few Asgardians who was born with the gift of a supernatural healing ability. But he couldn't tell Loki this; the pale, delicate face blazed with such concern, so full of distress and worry that the large mysterious windows of pure emerald grew even larger than before. Just the sight of those eyes enraptured him, and he wanted to see them directed at him a little longer. Loki was worried for him because he was hurt, so hurt he will pretend to be for a while longer. Thor fought hard not to smile as he felt small trembling hands lift his head into a little warm cavity, where he heard a soft, rapid thudding noise. Its regularity was soothing.

"Heavens, Thor," came a wet whisper, "please stay with me. Stay with me, Thor…"

"L-Loki…Loki, it's all right…" he stuttered, pretending to grimace from overwhelming pain. This felt quite good. Nestling in Loki's chest, which was warm and soft. He felt a little bad for tricking Loki like this, but how else could he get this intimate?

The beautiful voice came again, still a melodious whisper to Thor's ears. "I'm so sorry, Thor," croaked Loki. Thor felt a soft touch on his cheek which was accompanied by a sudden drop of wetness.

Loki was crying…for him?

_Gosh, _thought Thor, absurdly happy behind his pained expression, _how much better can this get? I must be quite important in his heart for him to dedicate such a beautiful expression to me. Loki's worried about me enough to cry…enough to throw his life away._

Suddenly he was appalled.

_No. No, I don't want that. I mean, yes, I do, but I refuse to let him _die _for my sake! _

Abruptly, from the corner of his vision the monstrous shape of the Frost Giant moved, reminding Thor suddenly of the danger they were in, jerking him roughly out of his temporary mental paradise. He especially feared for Loki, who, though perfectly able to escape, chose to stay with him and was in effect throwing his life away for nothing.

"Loki…go…please save yourself…" he croaked. Thor wanted to touch the smooth porcelain cheeks and wipe the wetness away, but was afraid he would soil it with his bloodied fingers.

Loki looked outraged, his eyes brightening with fury. "What are you saying?" he cried hoarsely. "I can't - won't - leave you here!"

Thor felt hopeless, regretting that he had allowed his desire to conquer. He ought to have told Loki about his healing gift! Perhaps then Loki might have escaped! The wound, hidden under his fingers lest Loki should see what was truly wrong with it, had nearly disappeared; the skin was completely patched and no trace of pain lingered there. But he couldn't tell Loki this, not after the effusion of emotion Loki had so passionately poured out for him. "Stop, Loki…just go…." Now he felt truly guilty for his actions. But Loki's chest still felt so cozy…

"No, I'm not going anywhere," Loki countered with admirable determination, "I'm so sorry for all the pain I've caused you. Just stay with me, Thor, just stay…" Thor stopped listening; he had begun to panic. A sudden flash maniacal hunger had flitted across the Giant's face, and Thor, a warrior at heart, knew that the creature was going to make a move soon.

Then he felt a slight tremor in the ground. He saw the Jotun finally coming to claim his long-awaited meal, and saw with horror Loki using his body as a direct shield against the Giant's raising fist.

"…Loki! No!"

But it was too late.


	12. Ch 10: Happy Revealings

_**I have two apologies to make here:  
><strong>_

_**1.) I'm sorry for the delays. Two weeks! I'm annoyed at myself too, but life has been quite demanding recently. And unfortunately, I think my release schedule will be every two weeks from now on. (Unless I'm lucky, but such fortunes hardly ever take notice of me).**_

_**2.) I'm sorry about the cliffie in the previous chapter. I hate cliffies, so I know how you reviewers feel, and I'm sorry I agitated you. (Or am I...? Those reviews certainly made me laugh. Thank you :)**_

* * *

><p><strong>Loki<strong>

"STOP."

What?

Odin's voice?

Loki opened his eyes. The Jotun's attention was no longer on his prey; he had turned his head towards the unexpected, commanding voice. There was no one to claim the voice, but suddenly a bright beam of effervescent light shot down beside them from the black sky and from it emerged the powerful figure of the Almighty Odin, holding his signature golden staff.

Loki stared stupidly in astonishment, so amazed that he could not even speak.

"This, I feel," spoke Odin to the leering Frost Giant, "is enough. Do you agree?"

Further to Loki's shock, the Jotun transformed. His large, ugly stature shrunk a little into, though still ugly and blue, a slightly more elegant figure that seemed to embody as much power as Odin himself. He had on his body as many scars as the Jotunheim landscape, with sharp angles that defined his strong bone fame and deep features on his face that were arranged in a manner strikingly similar to Loki's own. Here was a presence so ancient and powerful it could have been an offspring of Time itself. Eyes large and red, shining with an intimidating brilliance that rivaled that of Odin - his identity was unmistakable: Laufey, the King of Jotunheim. His "true" father.

Loki blanched.

Having lost all his former guise of stupidity and savageness, the noble and elegant yet frightening Jotun God spoke to Odin in a voice so deep it sounded like a rumble from the earth.

"Yes. I believe so."

"F-father? What are you doing here…" Thor's voice called weakly from somewhere. Loki was still too weak to move to see how Thor was faring, but the voice forced him to become a little more conscious to the situation.

"Our sons have played their parts well," said Odin, with a small nod in Thor's direction and one in Loki's. "The bond that has been formed between them is stronger and more potent than I have ever dreamed of. For a while I almost lost hope. I suppose my patience has rewarded me well. I hope this is also to your liking?" he asked Laufey with a light chuckle.

Loki did not understand this at all; everything Odin said had such a mysterious and oddly silly sound to it. He had expected Odin to despise him and Laufey to hate him; but it seemed the exact opposite was true.

"Yes. I am more than satisfied with this outcome," rumbled Laufey gravely.

The air of enigma surrounding their mystical topic, which progressively thickened with obscurity the more they talked about it, became altogether too much for Loki to bear. Struggling to put his shaking muscles to use, he shifted himself into more or less a sitting position - it was a large exertion - and asked, "What is going on?" He spoke hesitantly, for he was not sure whether his two fathers had an agreeable opinion of him or not.

Laufey shifted his weight around to Loki, and rumbled, speaking half to Odin and half to the young god. "It is all quite well, I believe. The future of Jotunheim and Asgard will be safe as long as the era of our sons last." He stopped, apparently not liking to speak for too long.

"Yes, you can be quite sure of that," said Odin. He smiled kindly at Loki with an expression so bright and warm to him who had never in his thousands of years of life ever received it, regardless of his efforts, that the sudden happiness which erupted inside of Loki at that smile was…just…ineffable. "You are quite confused, Loki, as you rightly should be. But now that the ordeal is over, we shall tell you what it is that has just transpired between your father and myself.

"I had stated that I wanted peace between our two nations, which were engaged in a war for so long that many of our peoples were beginning to become habituated to a depraved, violent life. This was becoming a dire problem. Fortunately for me, Laufey had mutual feelings, and together, without the knowledge of our peoples, we planned a way to ensure future peace. We planned that our children should develop deep, intimate, personal relations through which, when the time comes for them ascend the thrones, good bonds will inevitably develop between the nations. Bonds that will withstand time and other trials. Thus, though very reluctantly, Laufey gave his first child for me to raise."

Laufey grunted in grudging agreement, and Loki felt a spark of tenderness towards his biological father.

"I suppose you are wondering," continued Odin, "why it was not the other way around. This was because the realm of Jotunheim had become decomposed under the influence of war far more than Asgard, and Laufey knew that a life in Asgard will be much happier and more fulfilling for both our sons."

Again, Laufey grunted.

Loki listened silently, filled with amazement, half-believing this to be a dream, nearly forgetting the pain from the Jotun's hit.

Odin nodded at his own explanation, pleased that Loki was taking all this so well. "Both Laufey and I loathe war. Our plan ensured us permanent peace and alliance, as well as the well-being of our children. And I believe it has turned out quite well."

"My son has given you trouble, Odin, I have heard," grunted Laufey apologetically. Loki coloured, remembering his former reluctance to befriend Thor.

"A success after a struggle makes the success all the stronger," replied Odin.

A small shuffle sounded near them. Loki turned to see, with a spurt of concern, Thor, though a little less haggard than he was before, still pale and gaunt from his wound. The flow of the blood had nearly stopped, and there was an attentiveness in his features that must have been elicited by the curious turn of events. "I don't understand, father."

"What do you not understand, Thor?" asked Odin.

"If what you said was true, then why was it that you treated Loki so coldly? And why did - " he glanced distressfully at the Jotun God " - why did he attack us so aggressively?"

"Ah, yes," acknowledged Odin, subdued, "Loki, I must apologize - "

Odin, the Almighty God of Gods and Goddesses, apologizing? Loki blanched again. This was more unexpected than when Thor apologized.

" - for the neglect and coldness I have showed you. During the past centuries I had begun to lose hope of Thor and you ever forming a bond of any sort, so distant you two were from one another. I realize I must have played a part, in naturally favouring my own son a little more than the child of another, though I must add that the banishing of Loki was part of our original plan. But forgive my naivety as a father. The past few weeks have completely turned my former biases around."

Thor nodded silently, but his expression showed that he still owed his father a bit of a grudge for having treated Loki so cruelly. Then Thor turned to the Jotun God. "And you?"

Laufey took some time to answer, having a naturally taciturn disposition. "I was testing the strength of your bond. If you had cared more for yourself, Loki," he nodded at his son, "you would have fled for your own safety, and that would have indicated a bleak future for our nations. I am proud to have seen what I saw." The God sagged a little from having made such a long speech.

"Then can Loki return to Asgard?" Thor asked anxiously. It was evident to Loki that that was the question that Thor weighed most heavily. Loki was touched.

Odin smiled, and Loki's heart soared above his head. "Yes, Thor. I grant both of you permission to travel as freely as you wish between the two worlds."

A peaceful silence settled down among the four gods, the trouble that had created such disastrous and irritating misunderstandings and trouble between them finally resolved after centuries of years of tension. The big Gods were satisfied with the success of their plan; the small gods were satisfied at the good feelings this whole fiasco had resolved with. It was as though they had all been holding a huge breath of anxiety which they now could finally release, simultaneously.

"It is time for me," rumbled Laufey, breaking the silence, "to retire to my palace. Good day, Odin, Thor, son," he nodded at each of them in farewell. The stern, cold Jotun God, less intimidating now that his possession of fatherly feelings was exposed, disappeared in a flash of crumbling ice crystals.

"And so should I," said Odin. "I have duties to attend to. I shall leave both of you at your leisure to do what you please. I hope you have no objections to everything that has occurred thus far?"

"No, father," replied Thor.

"No," replied Loki simply, unsure what to call him now.

Odin chuckled. "You may call me 'father', or by my name, whichever you feel most comfortable with. But now I must leave. Oh, and please do not cause trouble. Especially you, Thor. I do not want to experience another war in my old age."

"Yes, father," replied Thor meekly.

"Farewell, then." A bright beam of light, the same as the one that had first transported him to Jotunheim, took him back to Asgard.

Thor and Loki looked at one another. They were finally alone.

* * *

><p><strong>Thor<strong>

The paw struck down, and Thor's blood congealed with horror as he witnessed Loki flung away like a ragged doll, with a painfully loud crunch of bone against armour. The sensation was numbing; Thor couldn't see, couldn't think, but only feel, as his heart ripped a little at the sight of his beloved being wounded in such a merciless manner. It was as if the blow had been flung at him as well, and Thor felt the full force of it in his chest. The pain that erupted there was so powerful and sharp that his tear ducts closed in fear of damage. His eyes were dry. His cry was suppressed. He had never felt so weak and powerless before, and he was angry that with all his might and strength, the prides of Asgard, he was now utterly useless when they were needed the most. But his suppression of reaction simply caused the pain to rage all the more within him, and his wretchedness grew beyond what can be conveyed through words. Thor was so angry. So dejected. So miserable that he couldn't even lift a single finger to defend Loki. The fragile figure flipped through the air helplessly, and crashed among the rocks in the distance with a disturbing thud that all but destroyed his heart.

And to think that it was he who had forced Loki into this situation. To think that Loki didn't even know it was Thor's fault.

Thor lowered himself to the ground, no strength left to fight back. He stared up at the dark, cold sky, devoid of stars and colour, surrendering himself to Fate. Nothing could happen that was worth living for anymore. Loki was his life, and he had failed to protect it.

I don't deserve to live. I don't deserve him.

Thor lay there, indifferent to his surroundings, not caring at all. If a person could be senseless yet conscious, he was such. He didn't see, look or feel, and was just swimming lethargically in an infinite ocean of sorrow and regret. Death, by any hand or means, was quite welcome now.

Thor didn't become aware again of his surroundings until much later, when two voices that hadn't been previously present drifted vaguely into his ears. At first they were murmurs, but as he listened harder, he could hear it was his father conversing rather lightly with another deep, gruffy and weary voice that didn't belong to any Asgardian.

What was his father doing here?

Then he heard Loki's voice.

"What is going on?" was the soft, weak whisper of his beloved.

Thor became very conscious. Loki was still alive? Loki is still here? And with Father?

Thor became alarmed.

But before he could do anything - he was drained from the episode of despair and, though he had a rare healing ability, his reserve of energy was still emptier than it was full - he heard the strange gruff voice speak. Its tone mollified Thor's alarm; his instinct as a fighter told him that the stranger meant no harm.

Then Father spoke. His tone was so light and propitious towards Loki that Thor was completely taken aback, just as if the Jotunn monster had hit him again. The surprise held back any desire to move, and Thor listened with increasing bafflement and resentment as his father explained that, in the simplest words, Thor and Loki had been tricked. Their injuries and emotional turmoils had all been incurred as a part of a bloody plan that had been more likely to fail than succeed. And if it had failed, then Loki and Thor would have been estranged forever, and their hurts would have been all for nothing.

A surge of anger shot through his blood vessels. He sat up to get a view of his father, who he truly abhorred for the moment, and sneered, "I don't understand, father."

"What do you not understand, Thor?" his father returned.

Thor couldn't believe this. What was with that tone of nonchalance, as if he'd expected Thor and Loki to be completely fine with this. How could he have done this, and not show a drop of compunction, especially to Loki? Loki, who had received an excessive abundance of insults, pain and neglect, and was now leaning a short distance away, severely pale and looking more fragile than ever? "If what you said was true, then why was it that you treated Loki so coldly? And why did - " he glanced distressfully at the owner of the gruffy voice, who he now recognized as Laufey, the king of shape-shifting" - why did he attack us so aggressively?"

Father looked down, with genuine remorse, and apologized to Loki. Thor was slightly mitigated in his anger, and nodded, but he still hadn't completely forgiven the cruelty of his father. Thor turned to Laufey, knowing that he had also played a part in this cruel plan. "And you?"

"I was testing the strength of your bond. If you had cared more for yourself, Loki," he said, glancing at the subject of his speech, "you would have fled for your own safety, and that would have indicated a bleak future for our nations. I am proud to have seen what I saw."

"Then can Loki return to Asgard?" Thor asked anxiously. It was all well that Loki no longer had to worry about neglect and such, but it wouldn't mean anything to Thor if he couldn't be with his beloved.

Odin smiled, and Thor's heart skipped a beat in anticipation. "Yes, Thor. I grant both of you permission to travel as freely as you wish between the two worlds."

A peaceful silence settled down among the four gods, the trouble that had created such disastrous and irritating misunderstandings and trouble between them finally resolved after centuries of years of tension. The big Gods were satisfied with the success of their plan; the small gods were satisfied at the good feelings this whole fiasco had resolved with. It was as though they had all been holding a huge breath of anxiety which they now could finally release, simultaneously.

Then the big Gods began to take their leave, excusing themselves to tend to the duties that were concomitant with their positions as kings of their worlds. But Thor suspected that they somehow knew about Thor's feelings for Loki and wanted to leave them together for a while, perhaps to compensate for the ordeals they had pushed on their sons.

Thor looked at Loki, who returned his gaze with clear, emerald eyes full of mystery and innocence.

They were finally alone.


	13. Ch 11: Thor Makes a Mistake Again

**Loki**

Suddenly, Thor sagged. He had been sitting in an upright position, and the abrupt loss of energy that seemed to visibly flow out of his muscles told Loki that the position had taken much of stamina and strength to hold. The god of thunder crumpled to the ground like a lifeless doll, the image of which brought back to Loki a fresh wave of guilt and pain, knowing that a major cause of Thor's injury lay with him.

Having accumulated a sufficient amount of energy from time and from the happiness he felt from Odin's smile, his own pain completely forgotten, Loki scrambled to Thor's groaning form, alarmed for his brother's life. He could never live with himself if Thor became crippled, permanently scarred or died.

"Thor! Thor, are you -"

Then he stopped.

At first, he was shocked. Amazed, and a little relieved. Then those pleasant feelings were replaced by indignation and irritation, as he saw that the spluttering, gruesome wound that had raged against his brother's life was now nothing more than a measly bruise, the skin so wholly patched up and scarless that the only sign of injury was the dried blood caked on his broken armour. Then he looked up at Thor's face, and became even more annoyed as a sheepish grin crawled across the golden face, its colour slightly back.

"What is this…?" Loki demanded. "What are you playing at?"

"Nothing, dear Loki. I…heal fast."

"You…?" Loki never knew that Thor had the healing ability, an ability so rare that only a handful of beings possessed it throughout all the universes. "You have _that_…?"

"Yes." Thor looked quite sheepish, almost ashamed.

His blood rose; his concern had all been unnecessary? "You could have told me from the beginning!" he seethed. "Why didn't you? And why didn't you stop me?"

"Because I couldn't. Besides, why should I tell you such a thing when you cradled me with such passion?" teased Thor. He wore an expression of an almost foolish happiness.

Loki reddened, embarrassed at the remembrance. "I was worried."

"But I must convince you that I _was_ quite hurt, you know."

"Were you, now." He could not believe he had fallen for such a trick, and was at the moment rather irked at Thor for it. And him, the God of Mischief! How could he have made such a _fool_ of himself…

"And you know, Loki, I'm still -" Thor grimaced, but was transparently acting - Loki thought back, and now saw how fake the whole situation had been, " - I'm still quite hurt here." He pointed at his former wound, located around his lower ribs. "There's a bit of a sharp pain that's plaguing me in a regular rhythm -"

"Would you like me to kiss it well, then?" shot Loki suddenly, dripping his words with sarcasm, acutely irritated at Thor's whining. This was the real Thor: a whiny, mischievous rascal of a god prince. How had he maintained his image as the "fiercest of gods and men" when this was his true nature? He hoped his scornful remark would shut Thor up.

"Yes."

"Well, of course not. You wou -" Loki stopped. As his ears fully absorbed the meaning of Thor's response, he felt his face slowly heating up. "No, what?"

What did Thor just say? Loki was sure he had not heard correctly and was appalled that his imagination could have done what he believed it just did.

"I said," Thor replied, "yes."

So it was not his imagination.

Thor looked quite, quite serious. The smile creases on his skin were completely smooth and Loki, however hard he tried, could not locate a single detail in his expression that might reveal playfulness. The mirth that had been in his face just moments before was completely gone, and his cerulean eyes, which usually twinkled with flippancy, were instead shining with a fierce solemnity that did not commonly visit those sharp Asgardian features.

"What? N-no, I couldn't…" Loki blushed, feeling quite, quite embarrassed. The intense gaze was making him excited, while the prospect of touching his lips to Thor's skin brought a terrible warmth to his cheeks.

"You asked me if I would like it, and I answer: yes, I would like it."

"Y-you're not serious…" Loki chuckled nervously, to play this off as a joke.

Thor furrowed his eyebrows, not aligning himself to Loki's intention. "But I am." His light blue eyes now seemed dark and blazed with a fierce challenge at Loki.

"I…" trailed Loki.

"Here," Thor emphasized, pointing at his ribs.

There was no way out of it, Loki realized. The tension did not allow him to escape, and something in this situation implied that his initially sarcastic suggestion was now the only road through which they could move forward. Thor's passionate gaze dazed him too much to be able to refuse, and Loki found that he did not feel repulsed about doing it.

So he leaned towards the golden skin that was wrapped taut over the muscle-bound ribs, his face flushing and his heart beating as though the blood in his body were screaming to rush out of his skin. His breathing quickened. Loki hoped that Thor would not notice his excitement; he was too embarrassed and proud to allow Thor to know that he cared for his well-being and that he reciprocated Thor's feelings. After all, he had spent his entire life avoiding and despising his infinitely more-admired brother. Suddenly showing an alternation of emotions would seem awkward. But Loki then realized: would not agreeing to this suggestion be implying that he _did _care about Thor? He should stop. He must, if he were to preserve his ego.

But still he leaned, and now the smooth skin was all that filled his vision. Something ineffable and powerful was driving his actions. He could not stop. It belonged not to reason; it was an emotion that did not understand reason. Then Loki pursed his mouth, closed his eyes, and touched his dry lips gently upon the hot, soft surface.

When he pulled away, blood pumping, Loki expected Thor to be grinning with his signature idiocy, ready to tease him. He did not expect the young god to continue holding that grave yet passionate expression, still watching him without so much as a wrinkle of his usual persiflage. Loki watched, curious and confused. Thor parted his mouth to speak and lifted his index finger up to his face.

"And here," breathed Thor, pointing at his forehead. Loki was about to protest, but saw that there certainly was a bruise that decorated his upper brow.

Again, Loki, blushing so hard that his cheeks felt on fire, leaned towards Thor's face. Thor closed his eyes, and so did Loki, as he gently pressed his lips to his adoptive brother's sweaty forehead. Then he pulled away and reopened his eyes, looking anywhere but at Thor's blue irises.

"And…here," said Thor again, this time touching his lips.

Loki widened his eyes, shocked at Thor's audacity. Simply the idea of doing such a thing brought another rush of blood to his face, and reddened his cheeks even more - if that was possible - and the embarrassment that accompanied it became too much for poor Loki to handle. For some odd reason, Loki began to fear that this was another trick of Thor's. Loki could not help thinking that way; he had felt betrayed by Thor too many times now not to suspect the latter's every gesture towards him. What if Thor was still playing with him? What if Thor was tricking him? What if Thor had really lied when he confessed his feelings for Loki? That would be…too cruel. He would not be able to handle it.

"N-no, I can't do this. Y-you're asking too much of me, it's not fair…" Loki stuttered. He stood up with jerky, confused movements, stepped back away from Thor's perplexed expression, and turned around to run away, afraid of what could happen, and most especially, of his own feelings.

* * *

><p><strong>Thor<strong>

He must have used more energy than he'd thought. A massive tide of lethargy swept over him, and for a moment he was too dizzy to see anything and could only feel a rough surface suddenly contacting his face. He realized with the sudden change of balance that he must have slumped onto the ground, and groaned involuntarily.

The next thing he knew was Loki kneeling anxiously beside him, a look of blazing concern shining from his pale face.

"Thor!" cried Loki, his soft tenor voice high with worry. "Thor, are you -"

Then the soothing voice stopped. Thor looked up, wondering what in Asgard was wrong, and felt like a boy caught in the act of cheating on a test when he realized what Loki was looking at. During his sudden loss of energy Thor had forgotten about the so-called "wound" he had had to conceal from Loki's eyes, and now that bare patch of smooth, unbroken skin might as well have been screaming for Thor to be punished. Slowly, fearfully, Thor watched Loki's face, hoping that he might not have damaged their relationship. By Odin's beard, he seemed to do that so frequently! However, as he watched, the small, heart-shaped face changed adorably from shock to relief, then finally, to irritation. When the wide, emerald eyes met his, Thor couldn't help but grin sheepishly.

"What is this…? What are you playing at?"

"Nothing, dear Loki," he said with an apologetic smile, hoping to mollify the younger god's anger. "I…heal fast."

"You…?" The eyes widened as realization hit home base. "You have that…?"

"Yes." Thor felt ashamed for not having told him earlier.

Loki's face turned crimson, and Thor would have called it a pretty blush except for the soft wrinkle between the faint brows that obviously implied anger. "You could have told me from the beginning! Why didn't you? And why didn't you stop me?"

So Loki was embarrassed. Thor felt a sudden surge of playfulness, and he wanted badly to tease this naïve little Jotunn.

"Because I couldn't. Besides, why should I tell you such a thing when you cradled me with such passion?" The corners of Thor's mouth tried to defy gravity.

The crimson on Loki's face could now truly be called a pretty blush. "I was worried."

"But I must convince you that I was quite hurt, you know." He tried to wear an expression of innocence.

"Were you, now." Loki looked skeptical.

"And you know, Loki," he continued, "I'm still quite hurt here." Thor pointed at his former wound, located around his lower ribs. Thor wanted Loki to worry over him again. He knew it was a rather cheap attempt, but you never know unless you try, right? "There's a bit of a sharp pain that's plaguing me in a regular rhythm -"

"Would you like me to kiss it well, then?" said Loki with biting sarcasm. His eyes narrowed into slits of scorn.

_Perfect._

"Yes," he stated solemnly, even though he knew Loki was simply joking. That didn't matter; Loki had unknowingly given him an opening through which he could use to bend Loki towards him, and he will use it.

"Well, of course not. You wou - no, what?" Loki looked at him, eyes wide with confusion, blushing even harder. Poor Loki, Thor chuckled inwardly. This was why he couldn't help teasing him; the young god was simply too naïve and vulnerable not to poke - and besides, this was not actually a joke. Thor truly did mean his affirmative answer.

"I said," Thor replied again slowly, "yes."

"What? N-no, I couldn't…" It was amusing to watch the blush deepen on Loki's normally pale face, and Thor wanted to touch the colour. It gave Loki's face a pleasant appearance of blooming health. Thor wanted to redden it more, and he felt a passion, a fire, ignite deep within his chest.

"You asked me if I would like it, and I answer: yes, I would like it."

"Y-you're not serious…" There was a nervous chuckle, and the sound somehow caused the fire to burn more fervently. There was an increasing animal-like anxiety inside Thor to close the distance between them, and he suddenly felt as if there were no time in the world, that he must hurry, to draw Loki's affection; impatience erupted like a bloated volcano, and he fought hard to keep the fire tame. He furrowed his eyebrows, the mood to tease Loki vanished, his only desire now his desire to show Loki how serious he was.

"But I am," he said gravely.

"I…" Loki looked unsure, and frustration gnawed at Thor. Rationality had disappeared; emotion held the reins to his actions now, and he wanted desperately to truly, unmistakably, capture Loki's affection.

"Here," said Thor, pointing at his ribs.

The expression on Loki's face was impossible to read; it was such a complex mixture that Thor could only recognize fleeting snatches of certain emotions as they gained temporary dominance over his face. The emerald eyes, wide and brilliant, under two crinkled arches of eyebrows, illuminated a medley of helplessness, embarrassment, frustration and confusion as they stared at Thor's former wound. The reddening cheeks were taut, the lips pulled tight. For a tangible moment the two simply sat there, each waiting for the other to do the expected thing. Then, like a crumbling wall of sand, the uncertainty fell from Loki's face, and the fire within Thor began to burn with more intensity than ever before as Loki began to lean towards him. Time seemed to slow. As Loki came closer, Thor could almost feel the heat from Loki's cheeks, so heightened in physical sensitivity was he due to his excitement. When Loki's lips finally touched his ribs, a flood of warmth rushed through his flesh.

In that instant, life was good.

But it was over too soon. Loki seemed to pull away too quickly. Before he could stop himself, as if his limbs and mouth were not his own, he began to point towards his mouth. But he feared the action too forward for the shy Loki, so he pulled his finger a bit higher to touch his forehead. This time, Loki's hesitation was shorter, and Thor nearly melted under the gentle brush of the dry lips. Thor had no idea where this would lead, but he didn't care; he wanted it to continue. Again, the kiss - if a short touch could be called a kiss - was over too soon, and, as if following an invisible force, Thor pointed to his lips.

"And here," he whispered.

Loki looked as if he would faint from fever at any instant. Never had the young god looked so bewildered, and Thor was confused; they'd already touched twice, so why would a third one cause such turmoil within Loki? Loki looked almost…scared. For a moment, Thor vaguely realized that what he was doing may be cruel, because he didn't know whether Loki reciprocated his feelings. But his desires were too strong. He continued to stare at the young god fiercely.

Finally, Loki spoke. The weak, fluttering voice shattered Thor's resolve to capture Loki's heart. "N-no, I can't do this. Y-you're asking too much of me, it's not fair…"

Loki, his eyes wide with every emotion in the world, stood up unsteadily and began to back away. He turned around and started to run, leaving Thor sitting bewildered in the dust, stricken with guilt.


	14. Ch 12: Finally

**Loki**

"Loki!" He heard a distant cry, but he did not stop.

"Loki!" He kept running, still very much afraid.

"Loki!"

"_Loki!"_

The voice had been becoming progressively louder, and on the fourth call it was right behind him. Suddenly, an iron grip attached fiercely to his arm and Loki was jerked forcibly to a stop and around to face his pursuer.

Thor's face was splotchy with exertion, pale and heavily perspiring. Loki saw that he was not yet truly recovered from the injury from Laufey, for there was a sickly tinge to the unusually pale shade his golden skin now had. His breath came out in rapid, shallow wheezes which were evidently not faked, and Loki felt quite bad for having pushed him to this limit. Thor needed medical attention, even if he did have the healing ability. But despite his tired body, Thor still exuded a magnificent amount of passion from his eyes, which sparkled brighter than ever.

"I'm sorry," he panted, holding Loki's eyes. "I'm sorry…forgive me. I went too far."

Loki did not answer. He was afraid his voice might betray the intensity of the emotions that boiled beneath his skin because of Thor's haggard, vulnerable look.

"You must know," Thor continued, "that I am not playing with you. That would be cruel, and I wouldn't do that, especially not to you, Loki. I'm sorry for what I did. For what I've done. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I…I love you too much to do that. Please believe me. I do love you; I truly do. I love you." The words were filled with desperation, which pierced Loki's heart.

Thor reached out to brush aside a lock of hair that had come loose to hang over Loki's eyes. At the moment of contact, when Thor's calloused fingers touched the skin on his forehead, Loki's feverish emotions broke through his self-control and in a swift move, his muscles momentarily developing a rather impulsive mind of their own, he cupped Thor's face with his hands and planted a kiss on his lips.

It was short, and bittersweet, like the strange sense of humour Fate has. It was also deep, like Earth's oceans. It was turgid with passion, desire and elements that words cannot explain.

As soon as Loki realized what he was doing, he broke away, his embarrassment rising to a most extreme pitch.

"I…I - I - I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," he stuttered badly, almost unintelligibly.

_Heavens, what have I done? Such embarrassment! How could I have been so impulsive? Thor will never look at me again…what have I _done…

Loki looked this way and that, giddy with shame and distress. He was very afraid to look at Thor. He could not run away from the spot, for that would seem awkward, because he had done that once already. He could only wait for Thor to initiate the next move, which would either strengthen their relationship, or dash it into oblivion. Loki hoped it might be the former, though was very much afraid that it might be the latter.

But he heard not a sound from Thor for several long moments. The air felt pregnant with anticipation and stress.

At last, Loki could wait no longer. He looked up-

-and reeled backwards with shock.

Thor's face, pale and passionate before, was so utterly crimson and confused that he might as well have peeled the skin away from it, revealing the blood pumping beneath, and it would have produced the same expression. It was an expression that was only possible on children, so innocent was it in its shock. Thor was so completely red that he looked like a blazing beacon against the dull grey-blue landscape of Jotunnheim.

"Th-Thor?" asked Loki, confusedly, "What is it?"

Thor continued to gawp and redden.

Loki reached out hesitantly and shook him gently on the shoulders. "Thor? Are you all right?"

At his touch, Thor came out of his trance, but seemed very far from sanity. "I…what…I mean, you - that is - well, I'm…" he stuttered, producing not a single understandable thought, all the while rubbing his golden hair into utter chaos.

It took quite a bit of calming and soothing to return his wits. And even when Thor finally stopped stuttering, and when the dazed look finally fell out of his eyes, he was still quite red, like a blooming rose. His eyes still would not meet Loki's, staring fixedly at the ground.

"Thor? What is the matter?"

"I…"

"Thor?"

"I didn't...that was rather unexpected…"

Loki felt a slight drop in temperature. Had Thor hated it? It seemed so, what with his odd behaviour and his refusal to meet Loki's eyes, and Loki felt another rush of embarrassment. "I'm sorry," he said quietly, "I won't do it again if it makes you so upset."

"That's not it!" said Thor abruptly, suddenly locking his eyes with Loki's with shining determination. It lasted for a very brief, yet concentrated moment, and Loki felt his heart skip a beat. Then, all of a sudden, as if he realized he had done something unspeakable, Thor looked away again, resuming his strange, inscrutable expression. "I mean…that is…"

Loki did not like to be confused. "Thor, please. Tell me what in Jotunnheim you're so…upset about right now." He glared at the reluctant god of thunder, pouring all his energy into his eyes to make Thor confess his mind.

Thor looked up, looked down, looked briefly at Loki, then buried his face in his right hand and gave out an amused but embarrassed laugh. "You're so thick sometimes, Loki," he chuckled.

"What?"

" 'Upset?' Now why would I be upset?" Thor peered through the slits between his fingers, like playing hide-and-seek.

"Wha -?" cried Loki, confused. "Now how would I know? You refuse to tell me!"

"Only because it should seem obvious enough."

Loki still felt as confused as ever, and stared indignantly.

"Loki…" he said, sighing. "I was just…a little surprised with your action. It was something only _I_ would do, completely unexpected from you, especially with recent circumstances with your being…emotionally bullied…and my horrible mistakes and this new, er, turn of events." He waved a hand in an arc at the silent landscape to indicate this turn of events. "I didn't think you would be so forward, and…and I was very happy." His cheeks coloured a little as he uttered the last four words.

"Oh." Loki coloured as well. "Oh."

They were quiet for a few moments. Then -

"I really like you, Loki," said Thor quietly.

Every time he heard those words, or something akin to them, a beautiful, cozy feeling gushed through Loki's chest, and he felt that he would be quite content to listen to them for eternity. Loki swayed under the sensation, trying to cement the feeling into his memory. Then it diluted as he suddenly remembered a question he had been yearning to have answered ever since the moment Odin had banished him.

"Why did you look at me in such a way when…when Odin banished me?" He asked haltingly, a little fearful of the answer.

Thor looked puzzled. "What way?"

"You gave me a look that runs contrary to what you just said."

"Oh." The blue eyes widened in realization. "Oh. I was under a spell. Odin stopped me from running to you by putting me in a binding spell. I couldn't move any part of my body. I'm sorry for that, Loki. Forgive me," he said, looking genuinely sincere.

A sigh of pure relief escaped him. It had bothered him quite a bit, and had been what stopped him from completely believing Thor's professed emotions of love. But Loki had one more question.

"Why do you love me? I'm a…a Jotun." This was the most confounding of all the questions he had.

Thor looked puzzled again, but this time a twinkle of amusement flashed merrily in his cerulean irises. "And why should that stop me?"

"I'm of a race that has sworn an eternal rivalry with your race!"

"That is obviously not what I saw today," he said, referring to the unexpected friendship between their fathers. "And why are you trying to make me deny that I love you? Why are you convincing yourself that it isn't true? Do you find me so repulsive?" He looked hurt.

"No!" He said instinctively after seeing the look of hurt. "I mean yes. I mean no! I mean…" Loki was so flustered he forgot which the correct answer was.

Thor instantly grinned. "Or…do you find it too wonderful to be true?" He was obviously teasing.

Loki would not have it and tried to wear an expression of contempt. "Don't be so impudent."

"But now I'm curious," said Thor, his playful face slipping off into one of cautious interest. "No," he shook his head, "now I _need _to know. What do you really think of me?"

Loki could not help it; he blushed again. A sigh escaped him as he pondered how to answer, reluctant and embarrassed to speak his true feelings, yet fervently wanting Thor to know about them. Thor waited, patient, and Loki submitted to his desire at last.

"…I…l love you, too."

* * *

><p><strong>Thor<strong>

Finally, finally! He had won Loki's heart. He had captured Loki's affections. Thor promised silently to the world that he will never hurt him again, never let him go.

Loki _loved _him.

Life was good.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Thank you, readers, for having the endurance to stick with this story to the very end. I can't tell you how much it means to me. Every single time I open my email and it tells me I've got a few more followers, I just about cry from joy. :') You really make my day. I really, really hope that my story met your expectations and made your time worthwhile. Also, special thanks to all the reviewers - some of your reviews are downright hilarious! I'm so moved that the story affected you emotionally - it's the dream of all writers (especially angsty fanfiction writers XD) to reach their readers hearts. It gave me the energy to do my very best. Again, thank you all so, so much.<strong>_

_**...  
><strong>_

_**So...The End...I guess, unless you guys want an epilogue? :D**_


	15. Epilogue: Life is Good

**Epilogue**

The wind swirls into the open window, making the translucent white curtains dance like silent, spectral beings. The moon shines a pale, gentle light, and the night sky is peppered with innumerable stars and sprayed with a medley of kaleidoscopic colours. Asgard glitters like bright silver, the city wondrously aglow with heavenly life, and Loki stands by the window of his bedroom drinking in the serenity with an unconscious smile on his face.

He has never been quite so content in his life. The darkness of jealousy, sadness and resentment that had infested upon his heart since the day of his birth is finally gone, and in its place is a blanket of love and joy.

His mind takes him back awhile to a precious moment in the past. As soon as Loki confessed, Thor stared at him with a dumb face for a while, and just as Loki thought that Thor might die from his lack of breathing, Thor pulled him suddenly into a passionate embrace and pressed their lips together with the ferocity of a hungry bear. Even though Loki knew about Thor's feelings, he could not help feeling shy and frightened during that moment. It was too unreserved, too strong. But it was at that moment, that moment of pure, bright emotional drive, that the layers of hate and jealousy had fallen away, disintegrating like smoke in the wind, while Thor coated his bare heart with his love for Loki. He remembers that there were tears in his eyes because the moment was so strong. And Loki changed, for the better, and reciprocated with equal passion.

Loki blushes. It is his most precious memory to date.

Then they decided to return to Asgard, to try to lead as normal a life as they could - and by normal, it meant life like before this event, with the exception of introducing into it their new relationship. Everything was fine, indeed everything was better because now Odin treated them both with equal affection, except for Sigyn.

Loki stops smiling.

She was furious when their relationship had come into light. She shot Thor with every curse she could think of, and she cried with such sadness in front of Loki he almost wanted to apologize, although for what he did not know. Loki was incredibly surprised because he did not know she had liked him so much, and he thanked her for her feelings.

"That's another thing I like about you," Thor had said. "Even though you're a genius and all, you're adorably thick."

Finally, she recovered, and soon, to the happiness of both Thor and Loki, she began to nurture a relationship with Fandral, who had apparently been in love with her for centuries. He had been the ear into which she had poured her anguish, and he had been the arm that caressed her to calm, and so he became the one with whom she eventually fell in love.

As Loki gazes into the night, a slight click sounds behind him. He turns to see who has come in, and starts to find himself staring into a pair of cobalt blue eyes.

"Missed you," says the mouth beneath them.

Loki can't help it. Every time he sees that face, those faint smile wrinkles around those kind eyes, his heart flutters like a bird taking flight. That feeling lifts his cheeks involuntarily, and he knows he probably looks like a grinning idiot. But he doesn't care. He has everything he needs. He has everything he has ever wished for.

Thor embraces his muscular arms around Loki's waist and brushes his lips hesistantly against Loki's, questioningly, as if asking for permission to continue. Loki gives it by leaning forward with a replying peck on the side of Thor's lips. Thor grins, and enters with a kiss full of power, strength, passion and drive, but very slow and deep, because they have all the time in the world. They pull away, saving the rest for later. With Thor's arm wrapped around Loki and Loki's head resting on Thor's shoulder, they gaze out at the calm night.

Life is good.

* * *

><p><em><strong>The End! <strong>_

___**Finally! I sincerely hope you all enjoyed it as much I have writing it. I'm glad many of you liked it so much to request for an epilogue. I just had to bring Sigyn in again, and I wanted her to have a happy ending as well. I do apologize for the delay, but oh well! I think this is a good way to start the New Year. A good end to a good beginning ;) Thank you again for following this story, to all you wonderful readers and reviewers. I can't thank you enough. **_

_**Happy New Year 2012! **_


End file.
